“So you were going to runaway without telling away?”

It was a lie but I didn’t want her to think she was right. “I’m not running away.”

“Maybe if you tell yourself that enough you’ll start to believe it. I just have to know one thing though,” After letting out the breath I’d been holding, I turned around to face her although her head was focused downward, her eyes examining the floor. “Are you leaving because of Dana and Lara?”

“No.” I answered a little too quickly. There was a certain limit of lying I could do before it began to bother Shane.

She stood up and turned to face me with a stare that told me to stop hiding the truth. “Yes, you are.”

“No, I’m not. My boss offered me a department transfer in Chicago and I took it; It’s as simple as that.” It was worthless to keep denying it, but I didn’t want to give up, yet.

“Yeah, except it’s not.” She was determined to break me anyways. “Listen, I know what it feels like to be the only one who doesn’t have it all figured out and the more you try to find a second chance, the farther out of reach it gets.” I shifted on my feet and looked away because she had just pinpointed exactly how I felt. “But if you run away, the pain stays with you, in fact, it gets worse because you’ll be leaving your whole life behind, and your friends, your family, the city you were raised in. Everything.”

“It’s got to be better than the way I’m living now, Shane.” My voice cracked.

Her eyes leveled with mine trying to convince me. “It’s not.”

“I have to try.”

“You can’t.”

By now, I was getting frustrated to say the least. “Then what the fuck am I supposed to do? Because-”

“Talk to Dana.” She cut me off. “That’s the one thing you haven’t done, yet. I mean, you guys probably wouldn’t have so many problems if you attempted some form of communication.”

This conversation was taking me down a road I’d rather not venture onto. “Talking to Dana would only make things worse. She’s happy with Lara and I’m happy for her. Okay? She doesn’t need me around anymore.” It stung every time I said that.

“Sometimes you two are so fucking stubborn it makes me want to plea insanity.” She raised her hands in defeat and walked towards the door. With her hand on the doorknob, she paused to say something else. “If you go through with this, my advice to you is spend as much time as you can around the people you love. Because it’ll be the last time you ever feel complete.” She shook her head and left the apartment while I stared after her with a whirlwind of thoughts rushing through my mind.

“Fuck this.” I muttered as I retreated to the bathroom and opened the mirror cabinet to grab one of the many orange, transparent bottles filled with heavy medication. I was about to pop a few Vicodin in my mouth when my cell phone rang.

When I took the phone out of my pocket and saw who was calling me, the pills fell from my hand as my eyes narrowed on the number. Usually I would’ve let the call go through to voicemail, but Shane’s words replayed in my head as I answered the phone, for better or worse.