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Posthumous Wisdom (21)
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On paper Tess was great, they had a lot in common and Tess was emotionally pretty well balanced which was refreshing for Carmen. Being in a relationship with Tess was easy. That however was the problem – it was too easy. The niggling doubts that had been plaguing her roared into life one evening when they were at a party. Carmen had been trapped in the corner for most of the night talking to this obnoxious music producer. Loathe as she was to spend her night talking to him, he had a lot of power and Carmen knew that in the best interests of her career, tolerating his conversation for the evening might result in opportunities that were generally hard to come by in her industry.
As the night wore on, Carmen noticed that Tess was being pursued by an attractive blonde. Although she was not overtly flirting with her, Tess’ kind and gentle nature meant that she wasn’t actively rebuffing her either. So, it progressed, as Carmen looked on from her vantage point in the corner of the room she began to feel uneasy. It was not that she thought that something was going to happen and she had to watch carefully, in fact it was quite the opposite. She suddenly realised that although it was preferable to not always be on edge regarding her partner’s fidelity as she was with Shane, the complete lack of evidence of any sign of the green-eyed monster told her that maybe she did not have the kind of strong feelings for this woman that would warrant continuing a relationship with her.
She hadn’t ended things there and then but she had started to try and talk to Tess about them. She was relieved to discover that Tess was having similar thoughts – although Tess was of the impression that seen as they were both reasonably content in the relationship perhaps they should allow it to continue for a little longer to see if anything else developed. As they discussed it further, it became abundantly clear to Carmen that Tess had actually never experienced the type of pulse quickening passionate love that she had shared with Shane and that as such “settling” for what they had was easier for her seen as she could only think of what she was missing out on in abstract terms. For Carmen however things were different. Although she recognised that there was a lot of things wrong with her relationship with Shane and she wasn’t for a second suggesting that she would want to go back to that, the kind of love she had felt for Shane when times were good was so much more than what she had now. She felt she owed it to both herself and to Tess to finish things to allow them both to go and seek that out for themselves.
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Again I say…WOW!!! You’ve tapped into the essence of these characters in such a thoroughly convincing manner that I’m truly impressed. I love how you are proceeding and how each letter brings each womam face to face with her own strengths, weaknesses and most importantly the power of love. I’m eagerly awaiting your next instalment. Each one makes me smile, cry and ponder. PPS.
hey, me again :) this is my re-read, i can’t get enough of this story. i’ m not a TBer too. i love them in season 1, but now i am like whatever, TB or BJ, just bring on true love. but what the truest love is friendship. now that carmen moved on to a new relationship (or trying to)… i don’t know because sharmen is my most favorite couple on the show. it doesn’t seem right with shane/ paige. let’s see what’s on with sharmen. i have a weird, quick thought – i know lara is not (maybe) a member of the gangs, but i think dana should be thought of her when she was writing the letters. i love what dana wrote to carmen and look forward to you next update :)
Again I am completly blown away with how much insight you possess, not only for a couple of characters, but with all of them. Really enjoyed your thoughts for Carmen because I didn’t like how they made her bitchy in S3 just because Sarah was leaving the show, totally went against how she was in S2. Your rendition is more true to that. Thanks, it is an amazing story.
I love how you write this story because you do it so well great update please post soon and I can’t wait to see what will happen
Okay, okay. I discovered this story yesterday (Mon 31 Dec 2008) and pretty much plowed through to whatever chapter I just finished. It’s long past time to start leaving some feedback, so here it is: I haven’t read an L Word fan fic this good since Marie Brandt’s “Introspection” series set after season one (which is what I logged onto this site to read again only to discover its absence). Anyway, I stumbled upon your story, in my need to get somekind of TLW fix, and I’ve been hooked since the first chapter. I love Alice and Tasha and the scenes you’ve written about them so far. I guess what finally made me review was this last chapter where you gave us Carmen. I can’t begin to tell you how cheated I felt when IC & Co. wrote out Marina, wasted her re-appearance, and then gave us no closure with Carmen. Getting to see what’s going on with her has bumped you to the top of my list of authors. Please keep her coming…
haha, yeah, I’m still here…but who knows for how long after I admit that I’m really not a Sharmen supporter either. I know, I know, but I can’t help it! I hate relationships where one partner treats the other like crap, lol. And yeah I know Danish did that too, but they held off on doing that the longest, so even though they still aren’t great they get my vote. I have to like at least one of the couples on the show, lol. I’m totally rambling since I haven’t been to sleep in like two days now, but this is incredible as they always are, and you managed to make me care about Carmen, which is really freaking rare, so go you! Lol, but really, this is fabulous and I need to quit writing as it can never be this good.
yep. I sure have been following. (sorry but I forgot what I said..oops) but yes, I have. thanks for the update! WONDERFUL:)
I know your are going to make us wait for bette and tina to read their letters,lol. what great letter to carmen from dana… just mayeb carmen and shane can some type of closure? really loving this story and still wait til see about the rest of alice’s letters… more flashbacks they are great!!