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Posthumous Wisdom (21)
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The break-up was as amicable as these things could be and Carmen was grateful that the relationship had helped her to heal at least a part of the hurt left after Shane. So, this was the first weekend that she had spent alone in months and so when she found herself at a loose end she had decided that she owed her Mom a visit. Things between them had been so much better recently. The fact that her mother had showed up at the hotel in Whistler had been the first sign of her acceptance of Carmen’s sexuality but the thing which had really impressed Carmen was the respect that her mother had shown her heart-break in light of Shane’s desertion. Her willingness to accept that the love that she had shared with Shane had been entirely valid and real had given Carmen faith that going forward her mother would support her in future relationships. It had proved true with Tess who her mother had liked instantly and accepted in a way that Shane had never been until it was too late.
Now, here she was, staring at a letter from Dana whose death in a strange way had been the catalyst for the end of her relationship with Shane. That’s not to say that Carmen blamed her in anyway, she had long since come to recognise that neither she nor Shane were in a position to have an entirely healthy relationship with each other at that time. It couldn’t be avoided though that Shane’s proposal was a reaction to the athlete’s death. Carmen knew that her then girlfriend had abandonment issues and was aware that Dana’s death was affecting her in ways that she refused to acknowledge. She should have been strong enough to discuss these things with Shane but that day up at the waterfall the hairdresser had looked so broken that Carmen had sought to fix it as quickly as possible. She knew that agreeing to marry her would have the desired affect and so that’s exactly what she did.
The most difficult part was that Carmen really did want to marry Shane. It was this point that made it so hard for her to try and force the issue and demand that they had some of the important conversations that she knew needed to happen. There was a part of her that understood that Shane was making a commitment that she was going to struggle to fulfil. Carmen had thought that maybe if she could just get her down the aisle that the rest of it could be sorted out at a later date. She had gambled that once the plans were in place Shane’s sense of obligation would be enough to carry them through.
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Again I say…WOW!!! You’ve tapped into the essence of these characters in such a thoroughly convincing manner that I’m truly impressed. I love how you are proceeding and how each letter brings each womam face to face with her own strengths, weaknesses and most importantly the power of love. I’m eagerly awaiting your next instalment. Each one makes me smile, cry and ponder. PPS.
hey, me again :) this is my re-read, i can’t get enough of this story. i’ m not a TBer too. i love them in season 1, but now i am like whatever, TB or BJ, just bring on true love. but what the truest love is friendship. now that carmen moved on to a new relationship (or trying to)… i don’t know because sharmen is my most favorite couple on the show. it doesn’t seem right with shane/ paige. let’s see what’s on with sharmen. i have a weird, quick thought – i know lara is not (maybe) a member of the gangs, but i think dana should be thought of her when she was writing the letters. i love what dana wrote to carmen and look forward to you next update :)
Again I am completly blown away with how much insight you possess, not only for a couple of characters, but with all of them. Really enjoyed your thoughts for Carmen because I didn’t like how they made her bitchy in S3 just because Sarah was leaving the show, totally went against how she was in S2. Your rendition is more true to that. Thanks, it is an amazing story.
I love how you write this story because you do it so well great update please post soon and I can’t wait to see what will happen
Okay, okay. I discovered this story yesterday (Mon 31 Dec 2008) and pretty much plowed through to whatever chapter I just finished. It’s long past time to start leaving some feedback, so here it is: I haven’t read an L Word fan fic this good since Marie Brandt’s “Introspection” series set after season one (which is what I logged onto this site to read again only to discover its absence). Anyway, I stumbled upon your story, in my need to get somekind of TLW fix, and I’ve been hooked since the first chapter. I love Alice and Tasha and the scenes you’ve written about them so far. I guess what finally made me review was this last chapter where you gave us Carmen. I can’t begin to tell you how cheated I felt when IC & Co. wrote out Marina, wasted her re-appearance, and then gave us no closure with Carmen. Getting to see what’s going on with her has bumped you to the top of my list of authors. Please keep her coming…
haha, yeah, I’m still here…but who knows for how long after I admit that I’m really not a Sharmen supporter either. I know, I know, but I can’t help it! I hate relationships where one partner treats the other like crap, lol. And yeah I know Danish did that too, but they held off on doing that the longest, so even though they still aren’t great they get my vote. I have to like at least one of the couples on the show, lol. I’m totally rambling since I haven’t been to sleep in like two days now, but this is incredible as they always are, and you managed to make me care about Carmen, which is really freaking rare, so go you! Lol, but really, this is fabulous and I need to quit writing as it can never be this good.
yep. I sure have been following. (sorry but I forgot what I said..oops) but yes, I have. thanks for the update! WONDERFUL:)
I know your are going to make us wait for bette and tina to read their letters,lol. what great letter to carmen from dana… just mayeb carmen and shane can some type of closure? really loving this story and still wait til see about the rest of alice’s letters… more flashbacks they are great!!