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Posthumous Wisdom (21)
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She remembered seeing Alice coming down the aisle towards her and knowing what was coming. She couldn’t deny that she was shocked, particularly considering things had been going so well between them in the immediate lead up to the wedding. At the same time however there was a feeling of acceptance, that this was always the destiny of this day. A spontaneous wedding was not the solution to dealing with grief it transpired. What was most unfortunate was that by going as far down the path as they did, it suddenly all became so much less resolvable. Had Shane come to her in the weeks before the wedding and told her that even though she still loved her she didn’t think that she could go through with the wedding Carmen would have been disappointed but she would have accepted it. Even in that moment standing in front of their friends and families Carmen hadn’t really doubted Shane’s love, it’s just that it was delivered in such a dysfunctional manner.
Shane had looked good yesterday. The sight of her though had thrown Carmen. As much as she had waited all this time to discuss what happened with her she was suddenly terrified by the thought of it. The idea that maybe she had been wrong all along that Shane had never really loved her was not something she wanted to face. So she had pushed her away without really letting her say anything. Then she had turned and assured Carmen of the one thing that worried her. She didn’t have time to compose herself in time to call her back and talk to her there and then but she knew in that instant that she would be making good on her offer to call the hairdresser.
It was probably a good thing that they both had some time to think before they talked anyway. On top of that she had this letter from Dana to read. It was one of the hardest parts of breaking up with Shane that she had to remove herself entirely from the company of those women who she had felt so welcomed by. She often wondered how they were all doing, particularly Alice whose response to losing Dana to another woman had been so extreme. Carmen was concerned how losing her forever would affect the writer. She had heard on the grape-vine a few months ago that she was dating again and seemed to be doing reasonably well – Carmen was pleased for her. After all she cared a great deal for these women it was just too damn hard to try and maintain contact with them after what happened.
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Again I say…WOW!!! You’ve tapped into the essence of these characters in such a thoroughly convincing manner that I’m truly impressed. I love how you are proceeding and how each letter brings each womam face to face with her own strengths, weaknesses and most importantly the power of love. I’m eagerly awaiting your next instalment. Each one makes me smile, cry and ponder. PPS.
hey, me again :) this is my re-read, i can’t get enough of this story. i’ m not a TBer too. i love them in season 1, but now i am like whatever, TB or BJ, just bring on true love. but what the truest love is friendship. now that carmen moved on to a new relationship (or trying to)… i don’t know because sharmen is my most favorite couple on the show. it doesn’t seem right with shane/ paige. let’s see what’s on with sharmen. i have a weird, quick thought – i know lara is not (maybe) a member of the gangs, but i think dana should be thought of her when she was writing the letters. i love what dana wrote to carmen and look forward to you next update :)
Again I am completly blown away with how much insight you possess, not only for a couple of characters, but with all of them. Really enjoyed your thoughts for Carmen because I didn’t like how they made her bitchy in S3 just because Sarah was leaving the show, totally went against how she was in S2. Your rendition is more true to that. Thanks, it is an amazing story.
I love how you write this story because you do it so well great update please post soon and I can’t wait to see what will happen
Okay, okay. I discovered this story yesterday (Mon 31 Dec 2008) and pretty much plowed through to whatever chapter I just finished. It’s long past time to start leaving some feedback, so here it is: I haven’t read an L Word fan fic this good since Marie Brandt’s “Introspection” series set after season one (which is what I logged onto this site to read again only to discover its absence). Anyway, I stumbled upon your story, in my need to get somekind of TLW fix, and I’ve been hooked since the first chapter. I love Alice and Tasha and the scenes you’ve written about them so far. I guess what finally made me review was this last chapter where you gave us Carmen. I can’t begin to tell you how cheated I felt when IC & Co. wrote out Marina, wasted her re-appearance, and then gave us no closure with Carmen. Getting to see what’s going on with her has bumped you to the top of my list of authors. Please keep her coming…
haha, yeah, I’m still here…but who knows for how long after I admit that I’m really not a Sharmen supporter either. I know, I know, but I can’t help it! I hate relationships where one partner treats the other like crap, lol. And yeah I know Danish did that too, but they held off on doing that the longest, so even though they still aren’t great they get my vote. I have to like at least one of the couples on the show, lol. I’m totally rambling since I haven’t been to sleep in like two days now, but this is incredible as they always are, and you managed to make me care about Carmen, which is really freaking rare, so go you! Lol, but really, this is fabulous and I need to quit writing as it can never be this good.
yep. I sure have been following. (sorry but I forgot what I said..oops) but yes, I have. thanks for the update! WONDERFUL:)
I know your are going to make us wait for bette and tina to read their letters,lol. what great letter to carmen from dana… just mayeb carmen and shane can some type of closure? really loving this story and still wait til see about the rest of alice’s letters… more flashbacks they are great!!