“You should have told me about her.” I said in a low voice.

 

 

 

“Shane I told you why. Would you have found me so appealing if I told you? It was wrong I know it was…..I just didn’t want you to mix me and her together…….I was a different person back then…..I was young and dangerous and reckless, I had money and fame. So much money and fame that I didn’t know what to do with it….I didn’t know it was going to get so heavy for me with you….I didn’t know. I didn’t think you would like me the closer you got….”

 

 

 

 

“You have a lot of self hate going on.”

 

 

 

 

“And you don’t? You went to her parties you know what went on…..Why am I such a bad person? You did the same things I did…we both made mistakes and we are older for it…”

 

 

 

“I know, I know…..”

 

 

 

 

“Shane can you honestly tell me you don’t feel anything between us?”

 

 

 

“I didn’t say that.”

 

 

 

“So what are you saying?”

 

 

 

“I am saying that every time a woman asks me trust her, its cause she is lying to me.”

 

 

 

“I am not other women. You know everything about me now.”

 

 

 

“Where you even going to tell me if she hadn’t?”

 

 

 

“I don’t know.”

 

 

 

 

Silence.

 

 

 

 

“Shane?”

 

 

 

“How are you feeling other wise….I didn’t even ask….”

 

 

 

She just smiles a sad smile at me then she starts sobbing uncontrollably. It made me ill to hear crying again. I felt so bad for her having do deal with all of this and Bruce’s suicide on top of it. I went over to her and let her cry on my shoulder. I couldn’t be pissed at her for doing the same things I had. I knew what she was saying about Cherie’s boozathonsexromps….I understood that she was ashamed and thought I would think less of her.

 

 

 

 

“Hey…..don’t cry about that……it’s not right of me to judge you when I did the same things. And I get why you didn’t say anything……so let’s just say we were young and stupid and move on. I want trust you and I do. I love your movies and think you are terrific. I don’t want you to quit and I don’t want to not be near you. Ok?”

 

 

 

 

“Ok. Can you come by after work and we can have a later super of early breakfast depending on when we get out?” she asked trying to get herself under control.

 

 

 

“Are you going to cook? Carmen I hope you can you cook because I can not.”

 

 

 

“Yes I can cook… and we will eat and hash everything out…..” She sounded better. There was so much I didn’t know about her. So much I wanted to know. I didn’t know where to start so I went with work.

 

 

 

“Is it awkward being naked in front of people with me?”

 

 

 

“Oh my god is it…we need to wrap that up as fast as we can.”

 

 

 

“You go to make up and get more beautiful and I’ll see you in a few minutes.”

 

 

 

She wiped the tears from her eyes and raked her hand in her hair. God she was beautiful…is beautiful. And maybe the burn of finding out she was with Cherie came from a possessive idea that I was the only woman she had. Either way I wanted to fix it so she would be the only woman I would ever have again.

 

 

 

“All is forgiven?”

 

 

 

“Yeah Carmen all is forgiven…..”

 

 

 

 

She kissed my cheek. And walked out of my trailer. I let a breath I didn’t know I was holding.

 

 

 

 

TBC.