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Remembering Me – Part Two
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“This has been happening to you since you got home?”
“It has.”
“Please tell me.” I rise up on my elbow. ”I need to know.”
“Bette, just don’t try to analyze me out of what I’m feeling.”
“Forewarned.”
“You’re dominating, jealous and very possessive …”
My hands fly up and cover my face. “My God! What have I done now?”
“I knew you would go there,” Tina’s voice sinks.
“Fuck it, continue. I apologize.” I zip my lips shut.
“As I was saying, you are all of the above. Did I mention possessive?”
I nod. ”You did.”
”And the way you are in bed with me is . . .”
“This part I do like.”
She strokes my cheek. “Baby, I want you to try to hear me. You are the only one who could ever reach me the way you do. I know that. Please, you know it, too.”
I look at her intently, because the bomb has yet to drop. “Okay, I feel better.” I lie.
“In the birthing tub, when the water turned blood red…”
“So horrible.” I flashback on the nightmarish scene…of just last week.
Tears drop from her eyes spilling onto my cheeks. Her chin quivers as she says, ”I felt myself dying in your arms. Both me and the baby.”
I hold her beautiful face in my hands. “I was there with you the whole time. No one was leaving.” I wipe more of her tears away. ”No one. Okay? ”
“But I’ve been stuck there, Bette! In a feedback loop of seeing your face, feeling an incredible pain I cannot describe and then, nothing.”
”But nothing ended! It wasn’t the end. See you came back.”
Tina turns away from me.
”Oh Jesus. So, this is why you’ve been avoiding me, by association? But Tina, I was there holding onto you!”
“It makes no sense saying it out loud.” She gets out of bed and begins picking up the clothing I’d thrown everywhere.
“No, please don’t dismiss this.”
“Bette, I can’t talk about it anymore, okay? I don’t want to ruin what just happened.”
Topanga Canyon –
People say running clears your mind. Good for them. Running causes me pain and when I can’t deal I push my body harder and harder to feel more than I can stand. It’s a temporary alleviation, but apparently everything else is, too.
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Fantastic chapter!
Alice and her Vampire, God, she is the only one of the gang to get involved like that.
I would’nt mind to only see Bette in tanktop and pajamas, she looks incredible sexy in it.
Beautiful pictures! I love them and this story.
Thank you!
Thanks Bibi! (Here’s more about what I was thinking, too)
As the writer, I’m creating the arcs and portraying the inner struggles Bette’s going through in this pivotal part of her life. To do this as an immersive experience for the readers I’m creating sub-textures and metaphors in Bette’s mind as she tears and knits her thoughts and emotions back together, Hopefully, there’s a real sense of sharing that grief and hope with her through her experiences.
Starting moodily with post-coital bliss and moving to uncertainty on her trail run, her true feelings of tenderness are revealed in her watercolor portraits of Tina and the baby. All these mixtures of emotions she goes through as she wrestles with her sense of alienation she’s labeled her, lesbian daddy blues.
Her character changes dramatically in “Remembering Me, Part One” through “Part Two”. From ardent in her quest for sexual intimacy, her professional high-powered egotistic self no longer suited up for action, we’re meeting the struggling Bette Porter trying to find her way in a wholly new form of intimacy that’s unfolding.
Love your writing. Thanks for continuing to write.
Okay, so I had time to read it before my flight loved it! I see Angelica isnt the only one nursing (smile)! Vampires…….yup only Alice! I love the incorporated pictures cant wait until the next chapter!