“What was that?” Tricia asked.

“Just talking out loud.” I had said.

“Why won’t you tell me about your past? You friend wouldn’t tell me, you won’t tell me, what’s the big secret?”

It was soft the way she asked. Not a demand. She just wanted to know me. What was so wrong about knowing me? I knew everything about her. I loved to hear her talk about pervy photographers, crappy TV pilots, her laundry…..

“Trish……it’s complicated.” I truthfully said.

“…..I just want to know you. We have been together for three years….I just wanna know you….”

 Its sad. It broke me up. I gave in and I told her…..some of the all.

We sat. Bottle of wine. Fireplace and I told her how we met. The choices we made. How we fell apart. How I drifted along, just aimless. She listened she is a good listener. I told her again how my brother got killed, how Carm’s brother wanted revenge and he got killed. I told her I hurt the guy who hurt Carm, how I couldn’t go home, how I avoided certain places, I rambled on losing my place maybe changing the subject to how I didn’t mind those lost weekends with her when she was too jetlagged to do anything. I told her most of it. I mentioned how Carmen had enough, how we never came to terms with our loss. It just came out. We talked for hours or I did. I rambled on and on jumping and roaming things, she never asked me to stop or repeat.  The neglected mention?  I was going back to my old life. I knew it. I felt it deep in my bones.

Chapter 2

It had been a while since I laid eyes on Carmen. We had gone our own away after the last heist went wrong. Wrong for the last time, too much blood shed, too many bodies, too much death. When you go from boosting car radios and beepers to convenience stores to payroll trucks to check cashing places to diamond dealers, it becomes a new game. You meet different people, you do different things, you live one moment the next one is shorter. And along the way people get killed and replaced and killed and replaced.