She jumped a puddle and landed on me. Trish having let go upon the yelling watched mutely as Carmen kissed me full on and I kissed her back. Then she introduced herself as the love of my life to which Trish smiled and offered for all of us to get drinks and talk…..to my pure fucking torturous delight. I followed as they walked ahead of me disgusted by my smoking and laughing like two girlfriends just yucking it up.

“Does she do that thing with her….?” Carmen asked.

“Oh yes…especially when….” Trish replied.

‘You know I taught her that….” Carmen said.

“Thank you very much.” Trish laughed.

“So, high school sweethearts?” Trish asked.

“She was the first real person for me….” Trish said.

“She doesn’t talk much about her past; maybe you can shed some light? What was Shane like when she was younger?” Trish said.

Dark cloud passing over Carmen’s eyes. It was time for her to go. It was time for all of us to go.  Tricia was confused. As Carmen was leaving she suddenly realized who Trish was.

“Oh my god…Shane you are dating a Victoria’s Secret model? I mean you are her aren’t you?” Carmen asked.

“Yes….” Trish answered.

“You know you look amazing for your age.” Carmen said.

“Thank you.” Trish blushed.

“Shane had a crush on you for a while, how did you too meet?” Carmen asked.

“At the supermarket.” Trish replied.

“Well Shane…that is so you.” Carmen said as she kissed me goodbye. It was simple, sweet, a peck on my cheek. It was her throaty whisper of “we have to talk,” that made me shift a little. Trish was paying the bill and didn’t notice. Carmen took her leave and I knew where to find her.

We found a cab and Trish just leaned on my shoulder and gazed at the passing lights. She didn’t say anything but her whole body read we have to talk.  Back home in the house of warmth. I loved her things. Just being around her. I loved the way her wavy hair felt, the way it shaped her face. I loved her. I love her. Yet I couldn’t get Carmen out of my head. That darkness. Shadows and light….and I couldn’t say the words to her. Words….never spoken….