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Boston, Ma, Thursday, 9:00 pm
Louise: “wait…, what are you saying…? Why did she felt that way?”
Bette: “come on Louise…, let me tell you…, it is not easy…, even for me was hard to hear that from Tina, and see the hurt in her eyes”
As Bette was recounting her memories about her first dates with Tina, Louise was becoming sad and anguished, because she already was suspecting something very wrong had happened, something she had denied to herself all those years; at that time, when her uncle was jailed after trying to abuse her and her mother, on those horrible and painful days, she was devastated, and her mother was hurt and shocked for her brother in law’s behavior.
She remembered during those days, Tina was silent, almost catatonic, too appalled to talk, perhaps, even, indifferent; at that time, she wondered, why her baby sister, never asked her, anything about why all that shit happened to them; but things changed in other matters too, Tina stopped seeing her friends and even her classmate for whom she had a crush; on the contrary, the little girl became shy, taciturn, reticent and immersed in her studies.
Though, after psychologic treatment Louise realized it wasn’t her fault, but her uncle’s wickedness; in those days, Louise initially thought it was her fault, and maybe Tina was ashamed of her because she was almost raped by her uncle; but it wasn’t that because the little one was always affectionate with her; when Louise and her mother had to go to the psychologist to receive some counseling support, Tina usually accompany them, but never was treated by any doctor or counselor.
Now Louise was listening to Bette while feeling a knife penetrating her heart
Louise: “please…, just keep telling me, Bette”
It was clear for Bette; the disclosure of Tina’s secret is affecting Louise deeply.
Bette: “okay…, but try to keep calm…”
Remembering (continuation from chapter5)
Bette: “Tina…, I’m very sorry…, really, really sorry…, I never wanted to make you feel bad”
Tina: (trembling) “it’s not your fault, Bette, I’m a freak…, I’m not normal, I’m sorry for making you waste your time”
Bette: (confused) “waste my time…?”
Tina was about to break…, she felt ashamed, uncovered, all her wounds exposed to the person for whom she wanted to be normal, to the last person in the world, she would show her past; there is nothing left to do, Tina is finished, she could never look at Bette’s face again; she was even thinking of dropping the university. She knew Bette had her heart, she was giving it to her day by day, but now, she can’t let her know her dark side, her tragedy, the incestuous episode that destroyed her family.