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    Slow Simmer – Part 2 – The Redux

    Tina didn’t allow herself to breathe until she got into her car and exhaled a strangled whimper. She rummaged through her bag for her phone, the leather exposing her fallen tears. Her hands shook as she opened her screen to text Bette. She didn’t know why her body was moving at such a hurried pace in stark contrast to the slow break rippling across her chest. Quick motions that expected to recover lost time or hoped to find space for more, Tina wasn’t completely sure. She squinted through the sun-soaked windshield in the direction of their bedroom window. Her choppy, wet breaths drowning out the beeping noise that her door was still slightly ajar.

    She started texting:
    We will talk, I promise Then she erased it.
    I am so con Backspace, backspace, backspace.
    I am sorry. Delete.
    I am still so in love with you…

    Tina stared at the words she had just typed, and brought the tip of her phone to her lips. Uncontrolled sobs prompted her to close out the screen, not sending the text to Bette but not deleting it either.

    She threw her phone to the floor knowing nothing was going to make Bette feel better right now. She slammed the door shut and screamed an elongated FUCK sharp enough to cut glass. She tried to tame the shrill escaping her body by white knuckling the steering wheel and dropping her head between her wrists.

    She drove to her hotel in a stupor, not understanding why she was running again. She went to Bette last night seeking her out, wanting her ex-wife to tell her not to get married. She went to Bette last night to be with her, to feel her silky skin against hers, to tangle Bette’s brown curls in her hands. The more she twirled those chestnut waves into love rings around her fingers, Tina could let herself unravel from her mistakes of the last few years.

    But Tina knew she had to leave before Angie got home. She knew Carrie was about to board a flight headed to LA. She knew she wasn’t at all prepared to deal with any of this. She recognized the familiar feeling as much as she tried to deny it. She was flailing. Just as she had every other time she thought she could share her life with someone other than Bette. Their tumultuous relationship forged a trail of unknowing hearts cruelly broken into stepping stones for their journeys back to each other.

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    1. Okay Tina… get the courage to go talk to Carrie and tell her what the story is … put her back on the plane to where ever she came from and get on with her life and you get on with yours… She is in LA because of you… you said yes when she asked you to marry her… the time has come to fix things… and stop torturing Bette. And stop torturing yourself. Do the right thing and set things so everyone knows where things stand. This game of running and hiding is getting old… you are either all in or you are out of the game. So decide Tina…

      Thanks for the chapter…

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