You want to know why I am here, right? she asked with a similar amount of annoyance in her voice. Well it aint to discuss the SHOW or how you think you can make it better. No I am here because . . . YOU ASKED ME TO COME, YOU FRUITCAKE. YOU WANTED MY HELP. But you know what Beachster, I am giving you nothing but what I have already given you. Two simple rules – – :Love me, love your neighbor. Dont quite understand that??? Then let me spell it out for you in a set of ten more rules. Becoming a little clearer?

Of course I knew what she was talking about and she was right – I did ask that the madness stop – I needed help with the addiction. And those commandments of hers were not the easiest in the world to abide by.

Its all right in front of you Beach; you just need to make good choices. Free will is a gift, hon, read the signs around you, and make good decisions. Do the right thing, but first tell me what you believe the right thing is.

I hated it when she put me on the spot, but I knew I had to MAKE things happen, not WATCH things happen. Because if I did not do anything I would always WONDERED what happened.

I love K, Bette, and I do not mean to hurt her by being such a fool. I should tell her more often how I feel. I should tell her the truth about all things L – I know I blurted out some half hearted confession about deceiving her a while back but I am still acting like a girl behaving badly.

Good start, Beach. What else. (JESUS ***** BETTE, FINALLY, SOME ENCOURAGING WORDS !! )

I think I will get a new cell phone number, then I will put a parental block on the L site on my computer and definitely get rid of the Showtime channel and the Showtime on Demand. That should help. And speaking of help, I will schedule an appointment with Dr. Repp. Yea . . Thats what I will do . . First I am going to write a really really mushy love letter to K, then take the next steps to eliminating temptation. I will kick this addiction and get my life back. Hows that?