Hellllll oooo Bette, I said, eyes closed sitting on the john. Think you might help out here and go grab some toilet paper from that cabinet over there?

She was sitting on the edge of the bathtub dressed in that white linen three piece suit she always wears when she comes to me. As usual she wore nothing but a vest under the blazer and was adorned with the most stunning necklace, although I still couldnt see it. And when she refused to move and help me, I opened my mouth and regretted immediately the words which followed.

Ya know what, Bette? Sometimes you remind me of Ks mother – always pointing out my shortcomings, never really saying what you mean, giving unsolicited and many times unwanted advice. Thank gawd you are a little better looking.

And speaking of Ks mother, I must say that she often reminds me of your Dad, Melvin. I figured I would just keep on yappin since I still couldnt see nor could I stand and retrieve the paper myself without leaving a little yellow trail on the tile and hardwood floors. Maybe if she wasnt going to help, she wasnt going to offer advice either (WISHFUL THINKKNG THERE NUTTER . . . THAT HOT HOT GODDESS COUNLDT KEEP HER TRAP SHUT IF THE HER MOTHER THE VIRGIN MARY ORDERED HER TO)

Whenever I seem to be facing a crisis of conscience; whenever I seem to be in the middle of some knucklehead situation brought about by my actions and reactions to the obsessive and addictive behavior I exhibit thanks to the L, God appears to me in the form of one Ms Bette Porter. And sometimes I confuse Her holiness with Her character on the show. Its then that my vision of the world becomes even more muddled.

You know damn well what I am talking about, I continued chatting away as I began to rub my eyes so I could watch her watching me. Your old man is in such denial about your being ***** and he disses Tina at every turn, which I believe to be intentional.

You know how easy going and artistically talented K is, I asked now hoping to get some type of response. That witch of a mother of hers rarely compliments her, hardly ever encourages, always trying to fix her up with a man. *****, she used to tell people that Ks old girlfriend was her roommate! She even sounded proud that K knew and shared a house with such a successful lawyer. The woman is not clueless, she just doesnt want to face the truth is all.