“How do you know it was about Candace?” Julia asked again.

“Because she said her fucking name and then she got of bed…WITH…ME…and went for a fucking run.”

But punctuated “with me”. Tina could not stand the agony in her voice. She wanted to pull her into her breasts and kiss the top of her head.

“I was not dreaming about Candace,” Tina said quietly. 

Bette scoffed. Tina squeezed her thumb tighter, refusing to let it go and refusing to allow Bette to take it back. 

“What was the dream about, Tina?” Julia asked. 

“Bette.”

Bette scoffed again.

“Why did you say Candace’s name?” Julia prodded. 

“I have no fucking idea,” Tina exhaled. 

“Tell Bette about the dream. I am going to turn off my camera so that you can have some privacy.”

Julia’s picture popped up on the screen.

Tina turned to face Bette. She curled her leg under herself and interlaced her fingers with Bette’s and held onto Bette’s forearm with her other hand. Bette rolled her eyes. 

“I was dreaming about you. Please look at me.”

Tina drew tiny circles on Bette’s forearm. Bette looked up. She softened under Tina’s touch. Tina could always calm her by touching her or kissing her or holding her. Tina was Bette’s safe space. Even now. After everything.

“Being in your arms the last two nights. Has been amazing and torturous. Last night, you gave me the best massage. Your hands on my body felt…so…right.”

Bette gulped. It did feel right.

“Then you snuggled into your spot under my chin. Our legs and arms wrapped around each other like we’ve done thousands of times before. It was…perfect. I stayed awake as long as I could relishing in the feel of you and the feeling of you. We hadn’t cuddled like that in…a very long time.”

Bette was focused on every word Tina was saying. 

“Then I felt you sniff me.”

Bette laughed, slightly.

“I mean…inhale me,” Tina giggled…slightly. 

Bette took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, never losing eye contact with Tina.

“I felt your lips so close to my neck. And the next thing I know, you rolled onto your back and pulled me on top of you. It felt so real. I thought it was real. I wanted it to be real. But…every time I tried to kiss you, you stopped me. Every time I tried to touch you, you redirected my hands,” Tina’s voice cracked.