I dont want to be pre-med

Bette could still remember the day she told her father shed decided to major in art history. For years he had drilled the names of every major university with the best pre-med programs into her head. It took her a week to finally tell him, after several failed attempts.

Art is a waste of time…medicine is an honorable profession and I didnt raise you to be some free spirited …liberal…Hippie!

Bette smiled to herself imagining herself with long dread locks and the scent of pachouli oil imbedded in all of her clothing.

I cant believe I bought him that tie!….Woah where did that come from?

Bette was surprised at her random thought. She ran her hand through her head as she thought about that dreadful evening with Melvin. She actually made Tina sit in the backseat when he got in.

I never apologized for that… never apologized for a lot of things. I spent so much time trying to prove to Dad that Im perfect that I made things worse. I turned into him instead. Far from perfect. Thats where I need to start in order to make this up to Tina. Tina….God I wish I could be perfect…for her. There was a time when I was everything she needed….I wish I could go back to that.

Bette recalled the night she asked Tina to marry her. They made love on the floor all night. Her mood saddened when she thought about the next day when they called their parents. She remembered Melvins cold response over the phone.

This isnt what I had planned for you…Its not too late for you to have a real life Elizabeth .

A real life. Thats what she had. But she let her ego and her need to please him ruin her life. Her hero. How had this man become her hero? There was nothing spectacular about him. He was an old, bigoted, stubborn man who refused to see anything another way but his own.

Its time for me to let him go. Let it all go. Father Joe was right, I need to start turning to Tina. She has been great. Shes willing to explore my culture more, but Melvin has never explored ours. Hes never been to anything involving Pride or LGBT. Hes disapproved from the beginning. Ill never be good enough for him, so why do I still try. Im sorry but I….I cant be perfect can I?