From the corner of her eye she saw something move and looked to see Shane stretched out in the early morning shadows. She watched the whole time as the light kissed her shoulders and caressed the veins in her flexed thighs. Dash lit a cigarette, and sat watching with shallow breaths while tapping into the internal conflict that poured from the womans soul in the yard. She gave up on the cigarette when she found it difficult to inhale on her own and just held it between her fingers.

In all of my religion
I’ve fortified this prison
Obligated to obey
The demands of bad decision

Dash fell asleep until she heard the front door slam shut. She opened her eyes to see the stucco ceiling above her. She smelled smoke and panicked. She tried to sit up but couldnt. She looked down to see that she was back in the bed with the dogs head in her lap. She turned her head to see Shane sitting in her former spot by the window with her laptop open in her lap and a cigarette dangling from her lips. The sweat glistened on her ripped shoulder blades as she typed away on the computer.

Shane: I put it out….Thats twice in five hours youve fallen asleep smoking.

Shane left it at that…No demands…No rules…No ultimatums…Just the facts and she showed no emotions that would say she was disappointed or upset. Dash nodded and put her hood back on. She curled up in a ball and went to sleep on her side. She could hear the tapping and smoking from behind her ten minutes later.

Please save me from myself
I need you to save me from myself
Please save me from myself so I can heal

Dash: Come back to bed.

She murmured in between sleep spells. She mumbled more about Shane taking care of herself and drifted back to sleep. She woke to the feeling of the weight shift in the bad and reached out to find it was Achilles instead of Shane. She smiled and shook her head drifting back to his rhythmic breathing.

Selah by Lauryn Hill

Nothing can be done against the truth
No matter how we remain in denial (yeah)
Wasting time
Replacing time
With each empty excuse
But that’ll only work a little while
Coping with despair
Knowin’ you’re not there
Ashamed to just admit
I’ve been a fool
So I blame it on the sun
Run away from everyone
Hoping to escape this ridicule
Trapped in misery
Wrapped so miserably
In this deception that I’m wearin’ it like a skin

Dying to maintain
Oh I keep trying to explain
A heart that never loved me to begin
Oh I’m such a mess
I have no choice but to confess
That I’ve been desperately trying to belong
Lying to myself
And everybody else
Refusing to admit my right was wrong

And then he came
Selah
Oh and it means
Praise and Meditation
And then he came
Selah
Oh and it means
Did ya think about that?
And then he came
Selah
Oh and it means
Praise and Meditation
And then he came
Selah
Oh and it means
That it deceived

How beautiful is fruit still in denial of its roots?
My guilty heart behaves so foolishly
This treason from within
That reasons with my sin
Won’t be happy til’ it sees the death of me
Selfishly addicted
To a life that I depicted
Conflicted cuz it’s not reality
Oh what’s left of me
I beg you desperately
Cause me to agree to what I know is best for me
Please save me from myself
I need you to save me from myself
Please save me from myself so I can heal
The choices that I make
Oh have been nothing but mistakes
What a wasted use of space
Should I die before I wake?
In all of my religion
I’ve fortified this prison
Obligated to obey
The demands of bad decision
Please save me from myself
I need you to save me from myself
Please save me from myself so I can heal

And then he came
Selah
Oh and it means
Praise and Meditation
And then he came
Selah
Oh and it means
Did ya think about that?
And he came
Selah
Oh and it means
Meditation
And then he came
Selah
Oh and it means
That it deceived

And then he came
And then he came
Then he came
Then he came
And then he
And then he came