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    The Roommates – Fast Forward to 2019: Chapter 22

    The tall brunette returned to her spot on the wall, words rushing from her lips. Her chest was tight. “Why would you do that to me?”

    “I wasn’t thinking. I’m so sorry.”

    Bette’s eyes bore the confusion she felt at her wife’s actions. She had been there, had felt the pain, experienced the trauma. Yet, looking at Sidney, it seemed odd that those actions had been those of the woman now tied to the hospital bed. “I can never look at you the same,” she said.

    Sidney looked away. “Bette, I love you. I never meant to – – -.”

    Bette felt herself trembling. In a moment she’d gone from confusion to fury. “You are so full of shit! I hate you!”

    Sidney stared at her. “You think I don’t hate myself? Look at me, Bette! Look at me! Do you really see me?”

    Bette didn’t want them to but her eyes betrayed her and tears slid down her brown cheeks. “Why did you have to do that? You hurt me.”

    Her wife was wavy behind the tears standing in Sidney’s eyes. “I love you more than life, Bette. I never meant to hurt you.”

    “But you did, Sidney.”

    The blonde sighed. And though she was broken and bruised inside, her heart was lightened. It was the first time her wife had used her name since she’d entered the room.

    “Bette, wasn’t there a part of you that liked it?”

    Bette whipped her head up. “What?”

    “I know I hurt you. I know that. But Bette, you came so hard. You came for ME.”

    “You’re fucking crazy!”

    “Am I? I know you always loved it when we were rough.”

    “Rough? You raped me! Are you serious?”

    Sidney looked away. “You still had an orgasm with me. Part of you must have enjoyed it. Don’t you miss it? Don’t you miss us?”

    Bette had been pushing the orgasm to the back of her mind. Hiding it in her memories. It was something she didn’t want to face. The knowledge of what had happened never went away, but she wished to avoid that part. Because she was afraid that Sidney was right. She was embarrassed that she’d cum. Ashamed that it had happened during the assault.


    1. I think that Bette has made it crystal clear that she wants to terminate the relationship with Sidney. I hope that with some therapy that Sidney sees that Bette is finished. Bette needs to get the keys back from Sidney of the house and the gallery as well.

      Bette may need a bit therapy herself. I have heard that in a rape situation, it is not unusual to experience an orgasm. After all orgasm are responses from nerve stimulation to a point of release. That stimulation does not have be desired or welcomed to cause a orgasmic response. The brain generally can enhance the experience when it is desired by responding with pleasured moans and groans etc. The result of an orgasm during rape more times than not makes the victim feel guilty that they responded “positively” to the stimulation even though they had no desire and even a repulsion for the experience. As in this story, Bette is concerned that on some level she enjoyed the experience. No…her nerve systems simply responded to the stimulation as they would had the sex act been a welcomed one. It probably took more stimulation of the nerves to get her to orgasm. because her mind was feeling horror. A good physician or therapist can help her know that the orgasm was an ordinary response of her sex organs and their nerve ending being stimulated to the point of climax. It had nothing to do with her desires or some subconsciousness enjoyment of the act. This part when she understands the physiology of the body should at least get over her guilt of having an orgasm.

      • Thank you for this. I find your comments to always be insightful and thoughtful. As I round out the characters in this story and layer in the impact of this experience on Bette, I will definitely keep this in mind. I like the way you have clearly outlined why Bette’s body reacted the way it did.

        As has been stated before, maybe by you :) , she has many memories, but still the mindset of a 19 year old. This is going to be a challenging experience for her to process.

        • Martha3128 is more than a reader/fan. She is definitely a life coach 😍🍷

          Now. With that being settled, gosh, I LOVE that Bette ran to Kit for support!!!! She really made a life-saving decision with that move because Kit KNOWS how alcohol&drugs can easily send a person into the abyss. Kit would not see Bette as weak, insecure, or anything of the sort. Kit would be the safe haven with open arms. And she is.

          Bette is definitely conflicted with whether or not 2019 Tina will agree to be in her future as perhaps more than a casual friend.

          After all, even Tina is struggling with WHY she is so attracted to Bette, this person she hardly knows. She doesn’t understand any of it but keeps taking steps to follow Bette in spite of her own mistrust, Toward yet another person who wants her to “do what they want”. She has NO idea that at some point in Bette’s Life-path, they were young lovers (and that love has transcended space&time). Bette keeps saying, “I’ll tell ya later”. How will Bette explain the divergent realities of 2005 life and 2019 life??? 🤯😳😬

          The paradoxes in this saga are thrilling to say the least! 😋😜😃

    2. Thank you for posting, MTS.
      I’m impressed with Bette that she found the strenght to face Sidney. That should be a first step to healing as well. Thanks Martha for the explanation, that was my first thought too when I read the part of Sidney’s assault on Bette. Taking to a therapist would help.

      Finally Alice knows at least a part of what really happend. I hope that she doesn’t stop supporting Bette with Sidney because I don’t think that Bette should be all alone when dealing with Sidney’s affairs.

      I’m so glad that Bette was able to resist drinking again and that she went to Kit. Hopefully her sister will insist that Bette’s decision to separate from Sidney is the right thing to do. Even without Tina’s arrival on the scene Bette needs to end this toxic relation.

      Can’t wait for the next part!

      • Totally agree with this comment: “Even without Tina’s arrival on the scene Bette needs to end this toxic relation.”

        Sometimes people hang on because it’s easier than letting go. Sometimes having the right motivation can spur people to act. In any sense, Bette needs to move on in order to grow.

      • It’s a toxic relationship with Sidney of the mind that she “opens” Bette. She’ll use any method to control Bette, guilt, shame, if You leave, I’ll kill myself, you owe me, whatever!!

        Bette has a major battle to free herself from Sidney at this point. Never mind her own personal healing, body, soul & spirit.

        I’m glad she’s with Kit, but she’ll need to eventually tell her about the rape. The subversive pull of having been victimized by that type of trauma will require more healing than she has thus far experienced.

    3. Thanks for this powerful Chapter.

      As the others I am glad Bette did not resort to drink and went for help.

      On the same lines as the others that Bette needs therapy to help her with the rape Martha deals with this in her comment much better than I could.

      Look forward to the next post

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