At the same time, having Bette with her to share the pregnancy experience she couldn’t help but fantasize about how it would be if they reconciled and became a real family. Helena was right, Tina still loved Bette. She never stopped; otherwise she could not have Bette in her baby’s life, but she was very insecure. She wanted to believe that Bette loved her too despite the cheating. Bette had told her as much but she couldn’t stand to have her heart broken again. Even if Bette loved her, she wasn’t convinced if Bette really wanted her, or if it was just the baby that was bringing them together. The thought that once she gave birth, Bette would lose interest and cheat again kept haunting her.

With both Helena and Bette vying for her attention Tina found that she needed something from each of them that the other could not fulfill. She wanted to be with Bette for the baby and she wanted to spend time together to work on their relationship. Maybe it could lead to a reconciliation but she wasn’t willing to give up her safety net. Helena’s relationship to the two women was dichotomy. As she worked to destroy one, her actions were building up the other. Being with Helena had boosted Tina’s ego and self-esteem during her lowest time. She made her feel wanted when she felt the least desirable.

Bette wasn’t too keen on the idea of sharing her wife with another woman; especially one that she didn’t trust, but it wasn’t up to her. Tina was in control, and if she had any chance of getting her family back she had to do it on Tina’s terms.

After the sexual encounter with Bette, Tina wasn’t sure if it would happen again but regardless she didn’t want to feel like they were sneaking around behind Helena’s back. She told Helena that she wanted to see other people. Helena knowing instinctively that the ‘other people’ was none other than Bette Porter she hid behind her bravado, as she was developing feelings for Tina despite herself.

She told Tina that it was fine if they dated other people since they weren’t exclusive and felt bad that Tina thought they were. She was being condescending as usual, but once again Tina let it slide. In the end she got what she wanted; an open relationship with both women. That was the premise for the scorecard she was keeping in her head. She couldn’t string them both along indefinitely; one day she would decide.

***

Thankful for the seamstress’ departure Tina hurriedly dressed in her own clothes. She wanted out of the boutique refusing to have any further conversation with Helena about Bette in front of the staff. Helena settled the bill and started to give her Malibu mansion address for delivery, but Tina interrupted and asked the clerk to have the dress delivered to her condo in Santa Monica. Helena didn’t argue. She simply signed the credit card receipt, gave the invoice to Tina and walked towards the exit. Tina smiled apologetically at the sales woman and followed Helena out.