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    Try, Trust, Try and Trust Again Chapter 18

    ”So what happens when production is done for the season on a TV show.  When we worked on Lez Girls, when it was over it was over,” Shane inquired.

    ”It’s kinda like a summer break, but not really.  My job never really ends.  I have to continue looking for talent for roles in the new season, make adjustment on the production team if necessary. All of it is based on money, stuff like that fills my time during the break.”

    ”Wow, so when do you get your break?”  Shane asked taking a sip of her espresso. 

    ”I take the time when I need it or want it as long as it doesn’t interfere with the production.  I was able to leave last February because the production was on schedule, but I was late coming back in June because production was running late.  It is very different from a movie.”  Tina said matter of factly.

    ”Speaking of movies, are you really going to be a guest speaker for Lisa? Shane inquired.

    ”Yea, I think it will be a good thing.  So much went into that film.  The drama around it took so much away from what we were trying to do.  Jenny wrote a great book, although I think I would have preferred her not to have used Bette and I as templates for her main characters.  Angie is going with me and we are going to tour the school before the talk.  We figured it was a good time, since I’m going to be there anyways.”  Tina paused, ”I’m trusting you to go with me.  I can’t go alone and face a bunch of eager film students,” Tina said raising her brow expectantly.

    ”I’m not the one they want to talk to,” Shane laughed as she got up to go talk to Tess who had just walked in the door. ”I’ll be right back.”

    Tina’s phone buzzed and she pulled it out of her purse to look at the text. ”We need to know your decision about next season by the end of next month. When you are in Toronto you can talk to the location team to help you make your final decision. We hate to lose you as our Executive Producer, Tina, this show is what it is because of your involvement. Your negotiation skills are like no others. You kept this show on track especially with those egocentric actors.  Like I said before, if we need to make some changes we can talk about it. Tina stared at the screen. She put her phone back in her purse as she heard Shane return.

    Comments

    1. This was a good chapter. I like the rationale behind Tina’s behavior and her past. I wish she was talking to Bette more but maybe that will come. I feel like Bette is unraveling and Tina is out of the country. Not good. Makes me anxious Super K which shows that I am invested in this story. How will Tina continue therapy while she is in Vancouver especially now that she seems to be at a crucial juncture in her awareness of her decision making. And Bette made some really good points to Shane that she should be saying to Tina. TALK YOU TWO right now. I would put them in time out LOL

      Please post soon. BK

      • BK

        Hahaha… yes lots of stuff for our poor Tina. I am taking you all on a roller coaster and we are now climbing the big hill before the big dip.

        Hold on, we are not quite there yet.

        K

        • Ooookkkkkk. My seatbelt is fastened and I am here for the roller coaster even though it makes me anxious. I always hated the climb up the hill… LOL
          Write soon –
          BK

    2. Great chapter… yes, I can see that Tina has always been good at conflict avoidance – pulling away when things really need to be addressed and resolved until the situation becomes so intolerable that fleeing seems to be the only answer. And when she realizes that she replaces her relationship of passion with a relationship of clam until its gets boring and then wants her passion relationship again – college boyfriend (passion) to Eric (clam and boring) to Bette ( passion) to Henry (clam and boring) to Bette (passion again) to Carrie (clam and boring) and now she wants Bette (passion again). So how does she reconcile this cycle? Does it really have to do with Bette’s’ behavior and the conflicts she has with her? Or is it that its a part of personality which she loves as a dear part of her particular behavior and then decides later that’s its just too much and she needs to get away? And the fact that Tina is beginning to see this pattern of behavior, is there something that can be done about it?

      Bette too has her problems – being the fixer type, I can see her going absolutely crazy not being able to identify what needs to be fixed yet knowing the problem is there. She also is feeling a high degree of inadequacy in that she is going through these cycles with Tina and they keep failing. And it get worse with each round. This time it really appeared that Tina was gone forever. And now that she is indicating that she wants to try again, the fear of going through the hurt and pain if they fail again makes her reluctant to get vested again in a retry unless something is substantially different from the past. So Bette is in a dilemma for which there are no answers. Yes, I can see she having a hard time just keeping it all together.

      The whole situation makes me queasy. I feel the want each other almost as much as they want life itself but have no idea on how to make that happen. The fear of failure is very real to both of them. And not trying is also a guarantee of more pain and suffering as well for both them as they will always have to deal with each other about Angie. What to do?

      This is a very good story….. I really hope you have a clear plan how to resolve this mess for our girls. It may be painful and stressful to get there, but these two can live a happy life together. We just need to get them to a place where they can. Thank you for giving us such a thought provoking chapter….

      • Martha

        I love the way you dissect a story. This relationship is so complicated that it is taking time to get a good handle on why they do what they do and why it is so hard for them to pull it together for the long run..

        I am trying to make sense out of complications in a relationship. I am glad everyone is sticking with it.

        I do have an endgame.

        K

    3. There’s so much about this masterpiece that really makes me think and ponder.

      Tina.
      Revelations about her core personality and how she see’s herself is really coming full force. Domineering Mom that can never be pleased, accepting, nor trusting in revealing “her” insecurities has been the model for Tina’s passive aggressive style of relating. The therapy sessions can really yield positives going forward. I figure the Therapist will be able to give Tina homework that will eventually lead to Tina learning how she can voice her true feelings without condemnation. It takes soooo much energy when it seems that there is a forever push up hill when dealing with a domineering loved one.

      Was thinking about how Tina & big Sis were “caught” by their Mom, and I wonder if Tina ended up being blamed for that activity. Was she made to feel like the initiator of that relationship? Wondered who had “played that game” with her Sister???

      Bette.
      Feel like Bette totally likes that she is comfortable with being outgoing and bold in her profession and with most people, but the “why isn’t that enough” for her most personal relationships really has her pretty much in a tailspin. Tina has yet to articulate to her satisfaction EXACTLY what Tina seems to resent about her. Tina keeps leaving without expectation and has refused to give explanation.

      Feel like Bette would accept an invitation to attend therapy with Tina, but only after Tina has taken firm steps to start revealing her true heart & soul honestly to Bette, withOUT blaming her for being Bette because Bette has in many ways learned to temper her “I know exactly who I am and what I want” personality.

      She has learned how detrimental her zeal to make all “family” decisions withOUT finding out what the other members want. She’s learned that an unyielding “it’s my way or the highway” attitude does not work.

      • I am so glad you liked it. This is quite a mouthful for sure. But Tina is almost 50 and baggage builds up. Trying to move through it all was necessary in my opinion if her and Bette had a chance to reconcile.

        Now that everything is on the table, lets see how they manage it together.

        K

    4. Ding Ding Ding…..a revelation! Tina avoids conflict. That’s how passive aggressiveness comes into play. Tina aggravates me. When you are upset about something with someone, tell that person. It’s not fair to the person you’re upset with.
      Bette is again a train wreck waiting to happen.

      I love it!!! ????

    5. Tina’s emotional growth was stunted by her childhood experiences. This lead to avoidance of conflict. She doesn’t deal with fear either so she bails.

      Bette is a ticking time bomb set to implode. The only one whose has gotten to Bette was Tina. Hopefully, Tina and Bette will continuing to talk while Tina’s in Vancouver.

      You’re killing me softly.

      • The research involved in this story has been so time consuming but hopefully realistic enough that our Tina’s past decisions now make sense.

        The story is still unfolding now that Tina understand where it came from, Now what she does with this will lead her to her next path.

        K

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