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    Uncharted Territory

    ‘For you maybe not, but if you continue to participate I think Maddy will surely benefit from it. And that’s all that matters right?’

    Looking back and forth Bette’s face clouds over. ‘Maddy will be heartbroken either way.’

    ‘I wish my parents divorced.’ I say.

    Helena sighs. ‘I still don’t even know who my father is.’

    ‘I feel a bit left out, being the only one coming from a happy family. I never thought I’d be the one getting a divorce.’ Winny swirls the wine around in her glass. ‘But it’s true in a way, it would be easier if we wouldn’t have had Maddy although I can’t imagine my life without her. When you don’t have kids you just pack your things and say goodbye.’

    With her red hair and her pale skin I can see what attracted Helena to her, add to that her work as a pediatrician and she’s an interesting counterpart at any occasion. Usually she’s very sensible and accommodating but it’s clear how this period weights on her. ‘I’m not sure if I would qualify it as easy.’ I reply and Bette turns her face away to stare out of the window. It was the hardest decision I ever made, until today I never stopped questioning if it was the right one.

    ‘Imagine you would have a kid. You wouldn’t have been able to move to Paris.’ Winny’s responds and Bette’s eyes fly back to the table. Sharpened and dark.

    ‘Jesus Winny.’ Helena warns.

    ‘No, it’s ok Hel.’ I say quickly before Bette can open her mouth. Fighting the urge to sink in the chair I straighten my back and return Winny’s stare. ‘You’re right, I would never leave my child behind nor I would ever take her away from Bette, but I’m sure you wouldn’t do that to Helena either.  However, the fact that we don’t have one didn’t make leaving easier.’

    Winny lowers her eyes and adjusts her napkin. ‘I didn’t mean to…’

    ‘Yes you did.’ Helena hisses under her breath and a silence descends over the table as the waiter discretely approaches the table to refill our glasses. Using the opportunity I take my clutch and search for nothing in particular.

    ‘Cutipol.’ Bette whispers in my ear, placing her hand over mine, stopping me from rummaging further. ‘..the brand of the cutlery.’ She clarifies as I look at her puzzled. ‘It’s elegant, it fits you.’

    Comments

    1. Another great chapter. Enjoyed Bette & Tina’s interaction with Helena and Winny – very entertaining, at the same time it revealed so much, as Helena said about the night being therapeutical. Very well-written.

      My favorite line –
      “When I asked her to marry me I knew I would only ask that question once and only to her.”

    2. Bette and Tina need to have some long discussions…. they need to have discussions about their expectations of the other. What role will their careers take in their personal lives? Do they really want children and if so when? Where would they like to live and why? What are their hopes and dreams? What is it that they most fear? How can they remind each other how important they are to one another – beside lots of sex.

      They need to have one discussion about the past and then put it away…. take ownership for their own mistakes and choices. Become aware of the signs that things are not right and need to be adjusted. Put their lives on a reasonable schedule – no more of this move to a new city, getting a new job and trying to have a baby all in the same year. They need to schedule some family time and some couple time. And they need to learn to communicate… almost to the point that they empty their minds to each other and hold nothing back. They need to share the duties of house and family together… neither of them totally responsible for say the cooking and the laundry. Joint project builds connection…. and they need connection.

      In this chapter, Bette describes what marriage means to her – a life time commitment to one person. That says to me that Bette will never instigate a divorce… if there is to be a divorce, Tina will have to start the process. And even if divorced Bette will never marry again. Those are truly remarkable sentiments for a person in this day and time. Of course if divorced, Bette might see other women. She just won’t purpose to another woman. That is how she feels at this time. I believe she is sincere and I also think that Tina is hearing this for the first time. She probably had no idea how Bette felt about marriage. I find Bette’s sentiment admirable….

      Thanks for the chapter…

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