I feel like we’re the only two people in the world when she gets up and takes me in her arms. Her eyes give me a free passage to her soul, shining brightly and the only thing I can wish for is for her to look at me this way for the rest of my life. Leaning back in the loving circle of her arms, my eyes set on her I continue with confidence. ‘You taught me everything about the word I didn’t dare to use yet then. So much that now, in front of everyone here today, I can tell you with all that I am that I love you and I give you my whole heart for my whole life.’ A tear escapes the corner of her eye while her smile leaps with pure bliss and happiness. ‘I love you.’         

The memories are so overwhelming combined with the circumstances. Behind me I hear the door opening and when I see Bette walking in, holding a replacement for the plant that I just threw away I lose the battle against my tears. She couldn’t possibly know how much that plant was a thorn in my eye. Without having a choice my feet follow her into the kitchen. When she hears my footsteps she looks up at me, our eyes lock and carried by the intensity of our look I move closer to her. I become aware that yet another tear escaped my eye, when she picks it up gently with her thumb. ‘Why are you crying?’

‘It’s the thought of losing you.’ I say with more courage than before, feeling her fingertips linger against my cheek before she tucks a lock of hair behind my ear. ‘Renee reminded me of our wedding, my words to you and….I shouldn’t be doing this here I’m sorry.’

I turn around and leave to the bathroom to splash my face, trying to calm myself down, this is not the time nor the place. A moment later I hear her voice behind me. ‘I still can’t stand to see you cry.’

‘You’re not the only one who wishes to turn back time.’ I lean on the washing basin and watch her taking a few steps closer through the reflection of the mirror. ‘I want to fix it, I just don’t know how anymore. I don’t even know if it’s possible….I know what I did to us. I know.’ I whisper when her hands force me to turn around and look at her directly.