“Your mom sounds like——-.”

“Oh, and when I invited my Girl Scout Troop over for tea and crackers we all walked in on my mother masturbating on the living room floor with the plastic arm to my Mr. Potato Head! At the ripe old age of 12, I was the first member to be banned from the organization in my country for life.”

“Suppo maybe I should—–.” The awkward look on her face suggested Suppo while going down memory lane in a matter of minutes had completely lost it!

“Oh, wait now you’re not going to believe this one, “she says looking at her with a crazy look in her eyes, “My girlfriend at the time Yolanda Squatpump wanted to congratulate me on finishing school so we go back to my room and right before my blessings began to overflow what does she do she moans out my mothers online username.“

“Her username?”

“Clit-Yeast-Wood.”

“Ma’am I think uh its best I—–.”

“So, you know what I did I slept with her bingo partner and I know what you’re thinking and yes she was a very proud AARP member but surprisingly for her age she was tighter than a ——-, “she pauses as she turned her back.

“SK1 Moore? Hello SK1, “she says looking around the store for her she scrunches up her face when she realized she had suddenly left.

“I must say that was rather rude for her to leave un-announced oh well, “she says finishing placing the candy on display.

Executive Officer Stateroom…..

“I cannot believe her, “Commander Kennard says to herself while hanging her uniforms up in the closet, “Four years of my life completely wasted all on someone who never deserved me in the first place! Okay, yeah I know I’m not perfect but damn it neither was she! Did I say anything when she used to clip her eagle claws for toe nails in the bed and they would stab me in my thighs in the middle of the night!? Nope, no I did not! Who in the hell does she think she is!?” Hanging up the last of her clothes she turns her attention towards her luggage and began unpacking more of her things.

“Sending her sister over to my house to take back the tennis bracelet she bought me who in the hell does that? Bette….Bette the “Asshole” Porter that’s who, “she says placing a few shirts in a drawer. “She can have back her bracelet turned my wrist green anyway knowing her cheap ass she probably got it from one of those 99 cent bins at Walmart! She’s such a coward couldn’t even ask for it back herself!” A sudden knock at the door interrupted her thoughts opening the door she was greeted by an eager smiling face.