Fan Fiction
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What If – Chapter 9
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Bette: [in a dry tone] I really don’t have the energy to pretend that I like you today.
Jenny: And I can’t pretend you’re hairstyle doesn’t remind me of Gargamel from the Smurfs.
Bette: [angrily tries to stand to her feet but Kit grabs her] I’m going to kill you!
Kit: Bette!
Bette: Please, I beg you just leave me alone with her for five minutes? That’s all I’m asking for is just five minutes!
Kit: Look we all know she is what menstrual cramps would look like if it had a face but let’s just do what we all came here to do and get out of here agreed!?
Bette: And what is that exactly? She’s got us dressed like the Men In Black and performing some ridiculous séance and for what!?
Shane: I agree with Bette this whole thing is over the top [she says while looking on the ground] and I think Master Splinter just ran across my foot!
Jenny: Bette I don’t understand why you’re so upset especially since you’re the one that asked for my help.
Bette: I asked for your advice but oh no this is what I get instead I should have just kept my mouth shut and handled this on my own!
Helena: [aggressively scratching her neck] What is this turtleneck made of anyway?
Jenny: Only the finest recycled wool, fiberglass, and pre-shed orangutan fur.
Helena: [in a disgusted tone] I really hate you.
Jenny: If you’re worried about the orangutan fur don’t be all the bugs and lice were removed with malaria nets before being sewed together you know as a health precaution.
Tina: [agreeing with Helena] Yeah me too.
Jenny: Awwww, I love you guys too now can we continue…the connected twine unlike Bette and Tinas marriage symbolizes a long forging bond that will last beyond the test of time please Bette come and join me in the circle of voices.
Bette: [reluctantly stands to her feet walks to the center of the circle and sits down across from her]
Jenny: Now, that the spirits are awakened we all have become one I ask for you all to join hands.
Kit: [mumbling under her breath] I’ll join my hands alright….right around her boney throat.
Shane: [squirming] Is this going to be over soon I have to pee really bad.
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I am so happy to read another chapter about this story!
I really hope that Alice got her wake up call and think about her relationship and start acting like a girlfriend instead as a single woman.
The job offer Bette got is a fantastic oppertunity, i hope she will reconsider and think about it and when she accept it, it will only when Tina comes along with her.
I hope to see a update very soon!
Hi Skunk:
Nice and funny chapter; the time of the truth has come, Alice, as well as Dana, have to think about what each one wants, and then make their decisions; to stay in their own relationships or to break them up; no one should stay attached just by pity, but by real feelings.
Hell, Jenny, someone should give her a one-way ticket to a volcanic island ready to blow up.
Thanks for the chapter.
P