End of part 2

STUMBLING UP ON THAT WHICH YOU CANNOT CONTROL

Gabrielle opened the door to the tavern room the smell of wet wood hit her nose again. She closed the door locking it she didn’t like this tavern one bit. Why did they even have to bother with this place, it was disgusting and it smelt bad? She walked towards the bed she let go of her staff not bothering to pick it up as it hit the floor next to her single bed clattering loudly. She felt her body hit the soft sheets of the double bed in the room, right now she wished that she’d just had said yes when Xena had asked her if she wanted her own room, or to be in a room with two beds. At least then she wouldn’t have to be close the only person she desired more than anything but wasn’t able to touch.

She closed her eyes sinking her head in to the pillow, gods it was torture, the truth was that she couldn’t stand any of this any longer. She pulled her head up picking up the pillow putting it over it. Xena didn’t need her around anyway she could do everything herself with the exception of the cooking, she had just become a burden to the warrior women. Xena only kept her around because it was out of ether guilt or pity she looked up in to the darkness under the pillow. The truth was that she was now wishing that she had just listened when Xena had told her to go home in the beginning. Despite that she had cared for Perdicus she hadn’t been in love in with him she had just felt sorry for him.

She knew what he meant when he’d said that he couldn’t stand the blood and the killing his words had spoken to her heart. At that point she had felt that any hope of ever being with Xena was over and she wed him. A foolish thing now when she’d thought about it because she had made him a target because of whom she was. Her love for him hadn’t been honest or true and she hated herself for that, she had led him astray. He had been such a kind man he hadn’t deserve what had befallen him, he hadn’t deserved to die by Callisto’s sword. He had made love to her on their wedding night and he had been tender and kind but even she wouldn’t lie to herself.