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    Missing. 2

    Story written on January 9, 2007 by New Dawn Fades.
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    13 votes, average: 4.08 out of 513 votes, average: 4.08 out of 513 votes, average: 4.08 out of 513 votes, average: 4.08 out of 513 votes, average: 4.08 out of 5 (13 votes, average: 4.08 out of 5)
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    Number of Comments: 6
    Words: 3262
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=63930
    Author Notes:

    So much of me has been about her…..

    Missing 2

     

     

     

    Ch 3

     

     

     

     

    “I wish I could feel like you when I fuck like you.” A voice whispers and it’s hers except she is not here. So much of me has been about other people. So much of me has about her or him or them or that or what or….or…..

     

     

    It’s not about the way that lava looked with him…melting in it. It’s not about watching that landscape. It’s not about the coral reef stuff jagged and waiting to cut and slash and betray. It’s not about that lava….glowing red with the tint of yellow. It’s about how it was burning white hot, how it seemed to point out the things slowly churning and burning black and grey….no…it’s not about that. It’s about that beat. It’s about that street that grind that find…that moment when universes and black holes, and dreams and screams meet.

     

     

    The truth if I could focus long enough to admit would be ….love. And the truth is love is not enough. The man is right. He will always be right because he knows what I am talking about.

     

     

     

    So that night. That first night in the dark on that island of forgiveness I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t focus long enough to blink. Trying to sleep in a hut made of grass with the waves crashing beat after beat. Thinking of Carmen. Needing Carmen. Feeling alone and betrayed by her again. Knowing that once again I wasn’t enough for her. And to top it off I wasn’t even enough for the new her as she loves to call herself. It’s a sad predictable thing that we had.

     

     

    The shaman gave me something to help me sleep that first night. Some white coconut tasting drink. I lie there for a brief moment peaceful unafraid of anything. I didn’t care. Marco was safe. Carmen was safe. And if it meant that I had to be alone how upset could I have been about it? Right? Right?

     

     

    Wave after wave pounded the beach and lulled me to sleep. And I dreamt of my father. I dreamt of that morning when he killed my mother. In this dream I tried to cry but I couldn’t I just did what pop said and got back in the car. It hits me as I wake to the dawn of a new day….it hits me that I never really cried about my mother. I can’t honestly remember shedding any tears at all.

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    Comments

    2. Yeah Carmen! Go get your woman! I am glad she is finally admitting she can’t live without her. The list was heartbreaking! Can’t wait to see what you have in store for us next.

    4. I’m completely captivated by your fics.I must say I like that they are apart because we get to see the yearning they have for eachother. I especially love reading about their love from Carmen’s point of view.So looking forward to the next update!:)

    5. Better late than never Carmen, but I do wonder how long it will take for her to find Shane in the big ol world. When she does find her it will definitley be interesting!

    6. “But give the kid a break. He is a little boy who lost something close to him.” Not to mention he was kidnapped by some loon and probably saw his grandparents’ violent murder. To say the little guy has experienced some traumatic events would be an understatement. I totally get that. It’s just that the whole situation made me think about parents, the way parents raise their kids, the way the kids react to the world around them, character, etc. It was my first and honest reaction to what I read, and, for the most part, it still is (just tryin’ to be honest here). Now, I may not like certain behaviors (in any character of any story — it’s just bound to happen SOMEtime), but if they *make sense* for the character and *make sense* for the story, who am I to argue, right? And, in this case, they totally make sense for both. Anywho, the story makes me think, react, and reflect (as you may already know. LOL!), and it always makes for good discussion (whether it’s dissecting a character, discussing dynamics, or deciphering lyrics). I’m always excited to read things like that. It’s not just some ho hum read that I’ll forget as soon as I’m finished with it. I look forward to whatever you bring to your adoring audience (which most certainly includes me).

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