The thoughts running through Sam’s head were so mixed, these were things she had shut out because this time of discovery was to end in disaster for her but for Ceri it was so much worse, tears were filling Sam’s eyes now as the memories of Ceri flooded back the consequences of those months of happiness made her more detemined to be a police officer.

October 5th 1990

I have had the best month of my entire life, I am in love with Ceri, I asked how she knew what to do and she said that she used to have a babysitter as a kid and when they got older like she she was 12 and the babysitter 17 her Mum would go out to work and Bobbi would come round to sit with her and one day Bobbi kissed her on the mouth and she really liked it so she asked her to do it again then they started touching each other and liked that even more.  Bobbi got some book and it said about oral sex so they thought they would try it and it was even better than fingers.  Ceri has told me about something called a 69 but I don’t know if I want to do it.  She says it’s great, I want to do it but I don’t know if I’d get it right.  Going out with Ceri later may let her do it to me.

still 5th night in bed after being out with Ceri.  We tried it and I loved it wow it felt good, it is so nice to do things like that to one another. I can’t ever imagine doing anything like that with a boy, feeling her inside me and her mouth on me is just the best thing ever I want to do it all the time.  I love to run my tongue over her it makes me feel all sexy inside.  Can’t wait to go out with her again.  Jen is not speaking to me at the moment because I am always out with Ceri.

Sam’s tears fell on to the pages as she read, this was one of the last times she ever saw Ceri.

9th october 1990

It’s been to wet to go out so I went to Ceri’s house after school, her Mum was out so we looked in her draws, Ceri found what she was looking for and we went to her bedroom, it was long and black made of soft plastic and it hummed and vibrated when it was swiched on. I had never seen a vibrator before.  Ceri pushed me onto the bed and pulled down my jeans and pants and ran it over me it made me shriek and Ceri laughed at me she then slid it in me and I was pushingonto it she came down on to me.  We spent the evening taking turns with it then we had a shower together Ceri got a harness type thing out of her Mum’s room and a false dick and put it on I let her put it in me it felt nice there.  I didn’t want to go home.