Fan Fiction
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1 Tina
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’Are you going to let her in? When she comes back?’ She searched my face through the reflection of the elevator’s mirror. ’Or will she occupy my apartment again?’
The ascending numbers in the elevator seemed to tighten like a noose, each floor a step closer towards suffocation. From my earliest memories, I’ve loathed these vertical chambers of captivity. The creeping closure of the doors, an oppressive shroud that engulfs you in a stifling, constricting box. It’s the asphyxiating grip of claustrophobia, a cruel reminder of utter powerlessness. The sensation of being entrapped, a helpless pawn in the sinister machinations of mechanics, was only magnified in the company of others – a gathering of souls trapped in a collective stranglehold of unease. ’I know she will come.’ I said as the elevator pinged and the doors opened.
’I wonder if you’ll have the glory to tell her that separating clearly wasn’t the pinnacle of your intellectual achievements.’ She snickered as we rounded the corner. The white coats hurried between white washed walls that trapped suffer and discomfort. The sickly-sweet, chemical stench clinched to every surface like a relentless predator.
’The guts you mean.’
’Do you think they speak English in heaven? I always imagined the official language up there would be French.’
I leaned down and kissed her temple. ’You think you will go to heaven?’
’You have a point. Probably not.’
Towards the conclusion of the corridor, a modest vestibule emerged, a solemn demarcation between life and death. I turned my head away from the voyeuristic glass pane of the neonatal wing, where the newborns were exposed as miracles for their proud families to admire them, and propelled the wheelchair onto the oncology wing. ’We didn’t separate.’
’Oh no?’ Renee looked over her shoulder. ’How do you call you living in Paris and Bette on the other side of the world?’
’She went for work. I agreed.’
’Happily.’ She added what I thought at that time and pointed at the coffee machine next to the nurse station.
Down the corridor, passing nurses whispered, throwing fleeting glances over their shoulders. When they spotted us the head nurse approached apprehensively. With a tentative pause, she began, ’Renee, uhm.. the doctor he was…’
Her words hung precariously in the air, abruptly silenced by an assertive interjection. ”Non, non, non.”
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Hey ladies,
Welcome back!
I do remember Renee and the story of last year. I totally loved that one but this rewrite is catching my interest as well.
My heart is breaking for Bette and Tina, i want to cry for them and hope and wish they will find the love they once had.
And Renee being so sick, no cure possible. The catalist for Bette returning to Paris.
I’m looking forward to read the other parts.
A re-write? I’m curious to see what you’ve changed. I loved it the first time around and was waiting for an update.
Well, I’m off to reading now. :-)
It still hurts a lot to see T & B so miserable and unable to look at each other, let alone talk to each other.
I’m hooked again. Please more! :)
I was exciting seeing the tittle (not knowing of the meaning of 2.0 was). read the story eagerly, thinking it was another chapter of the other story. but then I read, Renee is still alive? hmm.. must be a past story, then.. I thought.. hmm.. it’s weird, the storyline seems different from the one without 2.0.
then I read Author Note, I should have read it sooner… hehehehe.. (so sorry.. I didn’t read the author note from the beginning because how eager I was to read it) so it is different story, with almost the same background .. and now I wonder what is the difference from the other one? well… my impression reading this one is less bitterness, a lot of stubbornness from both side,, and that makes me wonder what happened with them?
I love both stories, and can’t wait for the next one.. and thank you for sharing your work with us..
Ooh you’re back!! Thank you :)
I must say that this story is rather confusing to me… As you have no introduction into any background on this story. Who is Renee? Who is “I”… what’s going on… I am sorry to say that after 3 pages I simply quit reading as I still had no clue as what I was reading. If you are depending on the reader having read another story to figure out who these people are and what is going on, then you need to say so. But your story is like waking up and finding yourself somewhere you have never been before with people you do not know and why you or they are there… With any good story… you cannot assume your reader knows anything…. you must tell the reader what they need to know to get into the story..
I do remember your last story…. but I also remember that I had a great deal of difficulty following who was talking in your dialogue sequences… thus, I had a great deal of difficulty discerning the story line… Is this Bette talking or is it Tina? I guess some enjoy that style of story telling… I will say that I enjoyed Desert Rose far more than Uncharted Territory.
Good luck with this one. I wish you much success…