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    1 Tina

    Story written on August 13, 2023 by BetteisBetter.
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    5 votes, average: 3.80 out of 55 votes, average: 3.80 out of 55 votes, average: 3.80 out of 55 votes, average: 3.80 out of 55 votes, average: 3.80 out of 5 (5 votes, average: 3.80 out of 5)
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    Genre(s): , ,
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    Character(s): , , ,
    Number of Comments: 6
    Words: 8328
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=115420
    Author Notes:

    ’With whom I asked?’ ’Watch out, I would almost dare to believe you cared.’ I poked her chest with my index finger. If I would lay my palm flat against her chest, I knew I would feel her heart beating as strong as mine. ’I’ll ask you one more time…’ ’Or else? Hm?’ I dared

    ’With whom I asked?’

    ’Watch out, I would almost dare to believe you cared.’ I poked her chest with my index finger. If I would lay my palm flat against her chest, I knew I would feel her heart beating as strong as mine.

    ’I’ll ask you one more time…’

    ’Or else? Hm?’ I dared and trailed her tensed jaw with my fingertips. ’You will leave for another six months or so?’ Once she relaxed under my touch I pushed her back. ’You didn’t even have the decency to call that you were coming back.’

    ’Seriously?’ She gasped as a thick curl fell over her face, but quickly regained her composure following me into the kitchen. ’I have to announce myself now? As an unwanted guest to my own home? To my own wife? Do you realize how ridiculous you sound Tina? How ridicule our life turned out to be.’

    ’Oh why don’t you just fuck off again!’

    Without taking anything she slammed the fridge closed and rubbed her forehead as if wondering how we once again ended up here. ’I didn’t fuck off!’ She matched the volume of my voice. ’You were practically jumping from joy to see my back.’

    ’You were long gone before you booked the flight Bette!’

    ’Is this your way of telling me that you missed me? Considering who it comes from I’ll take it.’

    In that moment it dawned on me. It was. I felt it. I just couldn’t utter the words I missed you. She wouldn’t believe me anyway. And I pushed back the tears that would give me away. ’This is the best you’ll get. Welcome fucking home.’

    1.4 Tina

    When I was a kid, I wasn’t older than eight I believe, we lived on a military base somewhere in Texas. Funny how I couldn’t remember even where exactly, we had lived at so many bases that it was hard to recall. But this one however, would always stay with me.During the week my father wasn’t home often, but every single Friday he made sure to come home early. Movie night. My mom would dress up, apply just the right amount of make-up and use the perfume from the bottle that she handled as a treasure. My father, after cuddling me endlessly, would dress up in a freshly pressed uniform and comb his hair with Groom and Clean until it would shine. When they would both be ready, like on clock, the babysitter would ring the bell and after she would reassure my mom, like every week, that she would send me to bed on time, they would leave.

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    Comments

    1. Hey ladies,

      Welcome back!

      I do remember Renee and the story of last year. I totally loved that one but this rewrite is catching my interest as well.

      My heart is breaking for Bette and Tina, i want to cry for them and hope and wish they will find the love they once had.

      And Renee being so sick, no cure possible. The catalist for Bette returning to Paris.

      I’m looking forward to read the other parts.

    2. A re-write? I’m curious to see what you’ve changed. I loved it the first time around and was waiting for an update.
      Well, I’m off to reading now. :-)

    3. I was exciting seeing the tittle (not knowing of the meaning of 2.0 was). read the story eagerly, thinking it was another chapter of the other story. but then I read, Renee is still alive? hmm.. must be a past story, then.. I thought.. hmm.. it’s weird, the storyline seems different from the one without 2.0.
      then I read Author Note, I should have read it sooner… hehehehe.. (so sorry.. I didn’t read the author note from the beginning because how eager I was to read it) so it is different story, with almost the same background .. and now I wonder what is the difference from the other one? well… my impression reading this one is less bitterness, a lot of stubbornness from both side,, and that makes me wonder what happened with them?

      I love both stories, and can’t wait for the next one.. and thank you for sharing your work with us..

    5. I must say that this story is rather confusing to me… As you have no introduction into any background on this story. Who is Renee? Who is “I”… what’s going on… I am sorry to say that after 3 pages I simply quit reading as I still had no clue as what I was reading. If you are depending on the reader having read another story to figure out who these people are and what is going on, then you need to say so. But your story is like waking up and finding yourself somewhere you have never been before with people you do not know and why you or they are there… With any good story… you cannot assume your reader knows anything…. you must tell the reader what they need to know to get into the story..

      I do remember your last story…. but I also remember that I had a great deal of difficulty following who was talking in your dialogue sequences… thus, I had a great deal of difficulty discerning the story line… Is this Bette talking or is it Tina? I guess some enjoy that style of story telling… I will say that I enjoyed Desert Rose far more than Uncharted Territory.

      Good luck with this one. I wish you much success…

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