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    1 Tina

    Story written on August 13, 2023 by BetteisBetter.
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    5 votes, average: 3.80 out of 55 votes, average: 3.80 out of 55 votes, average: 3.80 out of 55 votes, average: 3.80 out of 55 votes, average: 3.80 out of 5 (5 votes, average: 3.80 out of 5)
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    Genre(s): , ,
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    Character(s): , , ,
    Number of Comments: 6
    Words: 8328
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=115420
    Author Notes:

      The babysitter never spent any time with me, nor she paid much attention, which I didn’t mind because I considered myself old enough to take care of myself. Fifteen minutes after my parents would close the door behind them, there would be a knock on the door and I would look out of my bedroom window to see her

     

    The babysitter never spent any time with me, nor she paid much attention, which I didn’t mind because I considered myself old enough to take care of myself. Fifteen minutes after my parents would close the door behind them, there would be a knock on the door and I would look out of my bedroom window to see her boyfriend enter our home.

     

    That particular Friday, I was eagerly awaiting that knock on the door. Just to be sure I waited five minutes longer before I tiptoed to the back of the house, to my parents’ bedroom. I opened the window and climbed out onto the flat roof. It was a midsummer night and the magnolia’s that my mom had planted the summer before had spread a sweet, candy-like aroma.

     

    I took a strong hold of the downspout, as I had been practicing for weeks and slid down. With a perfect landing I reached the ground and I was free. Pushing the thought of how furious my father would be, if he’d catch me and the consequences that would follow, away, I started my way to the recreational area. I knew all the adults on base would be there, but I didn’t want to take any risk, so I used the example of all the military practice I had witnessed over the years and sneaked from house to house, using trees and bushes as coverage and eventually reached my destination unnoticed.

     

    I needed to know what all the fuzz was about. Judging by the way my mom was always looking forward to it and the way she dressed it for it, it had to be something very special and I was about to discover it.

     

    My hands were sweaty and my heart was pounding when I reached for the doorknob and slowly pushed the door ajar. The room was completely quiet, the rows of chairs filled with army men and their wives, transfixed by the white cloth in front of them that displayed Out of Africa, as I would learn later. In the back of the room a movie projector spread a low rattle as the spool transported the negative and projected the most amazing images I had ever seen. I sneaked in and sat down on the floor in the darkest corner of the room, by then unaware of my environment. When Meryl Streep said; I’m right where I ought to be, I felt it. The experience was worth every risk I had taken with coming there.

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    Comments

    1. Hey ladies,

      Welcome back!

      I do remember Renee and the story of last year. I totally loved that one but this rewrite is catching my interest as well.

      My heart is breaking for Bette and Tina, i want to cry for them and hope and wish they will find the love they once had.

      And Renee being so sick, no cure possible. The catalist for Bette returning to Paris.

      I’m looking forward to read the other parts.

    2. A re-write? I’m curious to see what you’ve changed. I loved it the first time around and was waiting for an update.
      Well, I’m off to reading now. :-)

    3. I was exciting seeing the tittle (not knowing of the meaning of 2.0 was). read the story eagerly, thinking it was another chapter of the other story. but then I read, Renee is still alive? hmm.. must be a past story, then.. I thought.. hmm.. it’s weird, the storyline seems different from the one without 2.0.
      then I read Author Note, I should have read it sooner… hehehehe.. (so sorry.. I didn’t read the author note from the beginning because how eager I was to read it) so it is different story, with almost the same background .. and now I wonder what is the difference from the other one? well… my impression reading this one is less bitterness, a lot of stubbornness from both side,, and that makes me wonder what happened with them?

      I love both stories, and can’t wait for the next one.. and thank you for sharing your work with us..

    5. I must say that this story is rather confusing to me… As you have no introduction into any background on this story. Who is Renee? Who is “I”… what’s going on… I am sorry to say that after 3 pages I simply quit reading as I still had no clue as what I was reading. If you are depending on the reader having read another story to figure out who these people are and what is going on, then you need to say so. But your story is like waking up and finding yourself somewhere you have never been before with people you do not know and why you or they are there… With any good story… you cannot assume your reader knows anything…. you must tell the reader what they need to know to get into the story..

      I do remember your last story…. but I also remember that I had a great deal of difficulty following who was talking in your dialogue sequences… thus, I had a great deal of difficulty discerning the story line… Is this Bette talking or is it Tina? I guess some enjoy that style of story telling… I will say that I enjoyed Desert Rose far more than Uncharted Territory.

      Good luck with this one. I wish you much success…

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