Fan Fiction
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A Perfect Design–Chapter 4
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”Ms Porter you do realize this is Los Angeles and we do have our share of earthquakes and tremors here. Now this building has been fully inspected by the zoning commission and the local city inspector and I can assure you it is not going to crumble beneath your feet. This is a highly popular commercial business area and this office will be rented quickly”
Bette kept her back to the realtor and kept staring at the wall. When she didn’t speak or turn around the realtor became curious.
”Ms. Porter. Are you ok?”
Without turning around Bette nodded her head and walked forward closer to the wall. She took her hand and ran it over the crack then stepped back and began to speak while still staring at the crack in the wall.
”Mr. Carlton? How long have you been renting and selling commercial property?”
”22 years” He answered becoming annoyed at the line of questioning”
”What do you know about the foundation and structures associated with this building?”
Mr. Carlton walked over and stood beside Bette and folded his arms.
”I am not sure why you are questioning my credentials Ms. Porter, as I can provide you with the inspection reports for this building and you can take your questioning up with them”
Bette turned her head and smiled
”I take it you only know what you have seen and heard and your only goal is to rent or sell property”
Mr. Carlton nodded his once
”Tell me Ms. Porter. What problem do you have with this floor or building in general?”
Bette looked around the room then back at Mr. Carlton.
”Besides the fact that it has a crack bigger than the San Andreas fault and that if another tremor or strong earthquake were to shake this building that crack would travel right through to the foundation and split apart I have no problem” Bette explained as she handed Mr. Carlton her card and grabbed her purse off the table. ”I’m a licensed architect and commercial contractor Mr. Carlton and may I offer you some advice?”
Mr. Carlton nodded his head.
”If I were you I would get the realty company to get an independent contractor/inspector to inspect this building along with city building inspector and zoning commission director. Ok?” Bette stated as she walked toward the exit door leaving Mr. Carlton standing there staring at her card and shaking his head.
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harley96 so glad to see you back with an update on this story. Looking forward to the continuation. Great start.
So pleased to have you back updating this story and look forward to more.
Great update. I was so happy to see it. Love the story so far
Great to see this story wasn’t forgotten!
Wow thank you for coming back to this wonderful story! I feel sorry for Tina! Not for long cause Bette and Peggy will put a big beautiful smile on her face. I don’t think she realize she kissed Bette cheek. Looking forward to more of this story.
Welcome back!
Glad you returned to this great story.
Wow, what a incredible loss for Tina, but was she 18 years old when her son died?
Thank god she met Bette, I am sure she can put a smile back on her. I hope Peggy will survive her cancer, she is one marveleus woman. Thanks for the update!
First of all, welcome as a writer. Secondly, love your story and I’m curious how things will develop. Thank you so far.
First of all, welcome as a writer. Secondly, love your story and I’m curious how things will develop. Thank you so far.
TINA is oblivious to the effects she has on people and the kissing on the cheek is the door opening BETTE probably was needing.To lose a child however devastating TINA needs to stop beating herself up about what she should have done and remember the good she has since done in trying to find a cure and the quality of lives for her patients she has improved.BETTE is one smart lady.thanks
With the death of his son, Tina looks like
closed to their families, and Bette will
be the light that will make Tina finds happiness.
The entire constellation.
looking forward to your next post; great update
Harley96 so glad to see you back and posting again. I love this story and im so happy to see you writing again. I love the whole concept of this story. Tina dealing with so much grief and being a guardian angel to so many others, now being able to find her own savior in Bette. Please post soon!
Harley,
I believe that I absorbed the fact in the phone call between her and her mother that she hasn’t cleaned out her deceased son’s bedroom, much less belongings in all these years. Now, that’s creepy, very creepy, and interesting that Tina has this dark side of denial, or at best severe procrastination, not too mention a very patient Mother.
You foreshadowed a lot in the story with cracks, and buildings, and space being sought after and constructed. I definitely felt the presence and pressure of building things and emotions. Then, I wondered about the lake – a completely different image and thing.
Especially so, since you spent time on it being discussed and somewhat constructed in both character’s minds at the end. Now, I wonder what you have planned for the new lake. It definitely rules out drowning, as the cause of death for Tina’s young son, because she would be much less friendly toward those still waters.
As before me have said: Nice job, happy to read more when you post, and interesting beginning.
Blackbird
Love this story, anytime our girls are put in a new setting and profession such as a doctor makes for a great read. Sad Tina has lost a child to cancer at such a young age, herself included. I trust that Bette will help get her to face her past and fill her lonely heart. look forward to next post.