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    All The Fallen ~*~ Chapter 17 ~*~ Ask

     

    “I heard enough.” His voice was rough with emotion.

     

    “You heard the wrong part, Ivan.  And I gotta tell you the rest.  I gotta tell you cuz you deserve it, the whole deal.” 

     

    “You don’t have to.  I get it, Kit.  I do!” his voice began to raise.  “I’m not a man, not a real man, not enough of a man for you.  I don’t care what you said last night. I¼.”

     

    “I meant exactly what I said, Ivan.  All of it.”

     

    He blinked, not sure whether he could believe her.

     

    “When I started seein’ Diggs, it was business.  Strictly business, Ivan.  That’s all I meant it to be.”

     

    He didn’t respond.  He simply looked at her with a face blank of emotion.  It was a mask, and not a very good one at that.  Surely she could see how his feelings were churning up inside him, making his stomach hurt.

     

    “I thought, maybe he could help me get my career started up again.  And I gotta be honest enough to say I was usin’ him for that.  I don’t think I led him on, not to make him think I wanted¼wanted to¼” she sighed and blurted it out, “that I wanted to sleep with him.  But I didn’t make it clear to him that I didn’t either. Jus’ like a drunk, Ivan, jus’ like a drunk.  I don’t think I’m even READY to get sober.”

     

    “It’s not a matter of being ready, Kit. You know that.”

     

    “But you got to be willin’ to do the work, Ivan.  Work the steps.  Work the program.  And I was doin’ it all half-assed.”

     

    “So you didn’t want to sleep with him?”

     

    “No,” she shook her head.

     

    “Then why did you?  Why, Kit?  I heard you talking to Lara.  I heard you talk about that special feeling you get when you’re with a r—-“

     

    “With a man who’s born a man, and never questions it.  That’s what I was gonna say.  We gotta say what it is. I got to say what it is.  How it is for me.  You’re a man in a way that I never thought about before, never seen before, don’t know nothin’ about.”

    Comments

    1. I understand Kit and Ivan, Dana and Tonya No. Bette and Candace Never Tina and her change in her Life style.I dont know . I just glad you are posting on this site. thanks

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