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All The White Horses: Part Two (2/5)
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Dana hated the smell of hospitals. The chemically
pristine odor they had that told you, even just seconds after waking
from your surgery, exactly where you were. Of course, that’s only if
you didn’t notice the droning beeps of the medical machinery, the
painful glare of the fluorescent lights, and the loud buzz of staff
members being paged constantly. But it was the sterile nature of the
smell that made Dana hate it the most, the necessary air of detached
cleanliness which seemed to hang from the walls of the building itself.
There
was a coldness to being in a hospital, an indifference, that always
bothered the tennis player so very much. She was never the type of
person who could magically adjust to her circumstances and surroundings
and become comfortable. But Alice was good at doing that and once Dana
asked what her secret was and the blonde looked perplexed for a moment
then said she supposed it had to do with looking for the familiar in
the unfamiliar. Dana stared blankly at her for a response and Alice
laughed, elaborating to say that if they were to go to a brand new
lesbian bar to make herself feel comfortable she’d wear one of her
favorite outfits and then order her favorite drinks. Placing the
familiar, that which is comforting, into the unfamiliar setting and
somehow making the situation not quite so scary anymore in the process.
Though she tried her best, Dana couldn’t manage to do the same.
Instead she always focused on the unknown, that which scared her.
Whenever she made a mistake she repeated it on an endless loop inside
her mind to find every little fumble while cursing herself for all of
them. That was what managed to always plummet her into depression when
she was closeted. The inability to let go of the hurt and the shame of
all the things she felt she had done wrong. Dana clutched to those
mistakes like they were perverse sort of security blanket. One meant to
protect herself from the surrounding world.
Taking chances wasn’t something that Dana would do easily. She had to
be pointed and pushed and poked and prodded and any other number of
painfully sounding p-worded things that suited the occasion to get her
to truly make a risk in her life. Almost everyone who dealt with her,
family included, found this to be far too tedious to even start to deal
with.
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OK – I just read the first chapter and this one – dreiser – awesome. truly. funny, sweet, sad, hopeful and bittersweet. I’d expect nothing less from you though. Very well done!
That was beautiful. Awesome writing as usual. Great way to end that chapter. Looking forward to the next.
Absolute perfection. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again no doubt, but your writing is amazing. And I’m not just talking about the grammar, which is a big pet-peeve of mine, but I’m talking about the way you portray and characterize each character to form. You perfectly write and vocalize Alice and Dana (no doubt because of your love for the characters), but you also have a good sense for portraying all of the others. I know you love Helena, as do I, and I like how you are forming her as she’ll hopefully be portrayed in S3 (although I do like snarky Helena too!). I know where this story is heading, mainly from checking in at your journal for updates, and I’m still excited about it because of how it’s written. Anyway, long-winded I know, but I have to give accolades to your talent.
Awww i am soo inlove with this story! The way you write the characters is spot on! This chapter was just amazing! Please update soon
Thank you for this story. Yours are stories I can read over and over again and always love. Perfect.
Simply Awsome, I hope the actual season of Alice and Dana’s relationship is at least half as good as it is in your story, keep up the great work!!
That was great. Your writing is amazing. I love angst and there was enough to go around in this chapter. Their love confession was…beautiful. Great job.
I have read it more than one time and I found more and more things that I like in your story. I said before but danish has unbelieveble writers, thanks.
Hiya, I’m a silent lurker, BUT your stuff is great…the only other person here with as much talent to hold my attention is Ms.Layla_Gray, but you capture the couple like no one esle…keep it up and you have another fan here….Peace.
IC created the characters, but I am amazed by how well you “get” them. I’m sitting here at my desk feeling happy because Alice and Dana were able to admit their feelings for each other. At the same time there is a bittersweet feeling because there is a good chance that the overall ending of the story will not be happy. It’s sad that two people who were so well suited for each other and so in love had to waste so much time. But it makes for a great story for us. I will bide my time re-reading the first two parts until you post again. Thanks for another wonderful story.
I usually lurk, but I just had to comment. Beautiful. Your writing is simply beautiful. The character development, the story development, I feel more like a voyeur than a reader!! Thank you!
Amazing! I had butterflies in my stomach the entire time I read this story. You write Alice and Dana beautifully. I love Alice’s comments like, “you’re such a girl and yet so helpless about girly things” and Alice being so sweet with Dana while she was sick in the bathroom. Their thoughts and fears which you expressed, are things that Eileen and her writers failed to say in Season 2. I’ve always loved the playful and sarcastic aspect of their relationship- very well written. I can’t wait till your next update!
i had chills the entire time of reading this story. It was amazing the way you wrote about al and dane’s love and i so hope beyond hope that you write more. Please post soon
wow that was amazing! please post soon!
this is great I am just catching up so I hope that u have already post again