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Bette and Tina take time to process – Chapter 16
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Bette comes to sit next to Tina on the couch and pats her knee as she does so.
Bette: “OK. Here I am.”
Dan: “So … Do you want to tell me what the thinking is behind trying to have a child together when your sexual relationship has been pretty shitty for going on three years?”
Tina: “It’s not shitty … it may not be perfect.”
Bette: “There’s a lot more to a relationship than sex.”
Tina: “We’ve been together for seven years.”
Dan: “I know plenty of couples that still have sex after seven years.”
Bette: “It’s not like we never have sex.”
Tina: “A lot of heterosexual couples have children when their relationships aren’t perfect.”
Bette: “You just obviously don’t understand what happens in a lesbian relationship. I knew this was a bad idea … I don’t believe that a straight male therapist can possibly understand.”
Dan: “Early sex is passionate, it’s illicit, exciting it still has that … AH AH factor but very quickly a kind of symbiosis develops. It especially happens between two women who are doing the work of making a serious commitment to one another and when that merging occurs the intense mutual dependency can be a deterrent to sexual intimacy.”
Tina: “Oh my God … the lesbian urge-to-merge.”
Dan: “We have to stop now.”
Bette: “Oh.”
Dan: “Do you want to schedule another session?”
Bette: “We’ll let you know. I think Tina and I need to talk.”
Dan: “What about this insemination.”
Tina: “That’s not up for discussion.”
Dan: “Not up for discussion?”
Tina: “No it’s not … I quit my job. I was a pretty successful development executive now I want to relax and prepare my body for pregnancy and that’s what I’m doing. I’m ready to start a family. We’re both ready to start a family. Right?”
Bette: “Absolutely.”
Tina: “Right.”
Bette: “OK great.”
***
Dr. Wilson: “Can you come here for a minute” Dr. Wilson says speaking directly to Bette with just a cursory glance at Tina. She takes Bette into another room and shows her the specimen under the microscope.
Bette: “Shouldn’t they be moving more?”
Dr. Wilson: “Yeah, that’s what I wanted to show you. I’m so sorry to tell you, but that stuff wouldn’t get anyone pregnant. Those little fellas just don’t have what it takes.”
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So glad they are making progress. Thanks, enjoyed it
Thank you wkm. Glad you are enjoying the progress. Lots more to come.
BETTE would get TINA warmed up time after time only to pump the brakes when TINA wa ready to make love.DAN was a counselor yet BETTE felt they didn’t need one.BOTH BETTE/TINA was to wrapped up in their own problems to see that this way of thinking was THE PROBLEM .Looking for donors it became what ever the other one wanted not what THEY wanted.BETTE found the donor,BETTE picks the guy to go home with them,BETTE finds the second donor all her choices yet TINA just went along.TINA confides in friends when she should talk to BETTE,TINA inseminates herself ,TINA has a reality check when MARCUS turns out to be black.To share all these hidden truths between them and at the end of the day realizes that there is still enough of a spark to ignite the sexual urges for each other gives them hope that this too can be put in the category of what not to do when planning a baby.Let the love they know is there shine thru.Best quote of this ”ze penis,ze pussy ,ze baby” that was one for the history books.pps thanks
dunnthat. Thank you for commenting and providing great insight. The point of rehashing all this history is to understand, forgive, and move on. Most importantly to learn from mistakes, pay attention to the warning signs, and not repeat bad behaviours. They are making good progress emotionally and eventually the physical relationship will resume.
Thanks for this great chapter.
One step at a time, they are reconnecting .
the entire constellation.
mscully – thank you for reading, commenting and rating. I love it when you reward my chapters with ‘the entire constellation’ :-)
Like what mscully said one step at a time, they already have talked much about a lot of their problems and it was very wise to ask Paul for his insight when they were not able to do that by them selves, but they are making progress.
The flashback that Bette came home earlier to spend time with Tina, trying to reconnect, and that Tina went to the gym, was for me absolutely heart breaking, it showed how disconnect they were.
I didn’t like the first few chapters, but Bat, you have defiantly my attention again.
Thanks for sharing your talent with us!
Bibi28 – thank you for sticking with the story. I know it was a rough beginning and I really appreciate that you gave it chance. Bette and Tina are going to progress by leaps and bounds before the end of this retreat.