“Bette… I’m not as weak or naïve as you think… I’m a grown up who knows how to take care of myself…babe… see, I’m not that easily breakable…”

Bette

The words sting me… guess that the alpha side of me didn’t like to hear those words… but the logical part of me knows that she is right…

“I love you more than I could admit… I don’t want to lose you at all…”

“You are not going to lose me Bette.”

“And I don’t want to hurt you…”

“I’m not that fragile Babe.”

“But life is fragile T, things that are beyond our control is what scares me…”

Tina

I didn’t quite catch what is she trying to say, I look at her all confuse then she continues, “Death scares me… I realize that every time I found some happiness, death will come and threaten me… you see when I went to look for this sponsor, I successfully got the sponsor but I killed myself in the accident then…”

She tightened her hold of my hand, “We are just starting to go out together… when we are about to bring our relationship to the next level… I dreamt about death… encountered deaths in my dreams…  I don’t want you to grieve over me, T.” she looks like she’s in great fear “Dreaming of you…. Dead also…” she started to burst into tears… “It seems so real T, I just couldn’t cope losing you and all that… I just couldn’t …”

She continues to sob while I rub her anyway possibly giving her comfort and console… “Can I possibly find any happiness?” she says desperately between sobs. It hurts me to see her so helpless, lost, sad, worry of losing me… I gather all of her into my arms, putting my head besides hers, my tears streaming down my own cheeks, I just feel her pain and vulnerabilities… but none of them scare me, I’m determined to help her stand up to find happiness which she deserves… which will bring me happiness as well.

“Bette, babe… life is short… but we must live everyday to the fullest… we must cherish our everyday, every hour, every minute and every second… together…”