In my mind, a person actually has to believe in tomorrow in or to
plan for it. I mean I get the works science side of this. The sun will
come up, blah blah. I’m not a ‘the world is going to end’ kind of
person. But I can’t say I plan for something that isn’t a given is
going to happen. Life just isn’t nice enough to let you have your plans
and your dreams, so why bother. Today is the only given you have.
Anything else is just a plus. I believe in today, because its here,
there is no arguing that. To believe in tomorrow is to believe in a
wish. And let me tell you, wishes don’t often come true. Unless you
wish for practical things, like “oh, I wish my electric bill will
come.” That’s a about the only wish I can tell you will happen. Tell a
woman who lost her father as a young child and whose mother did not
have the time to remember to show her what love was or that dreaming
and planning are good ways to feed the soul, that planning for tomorrow
is the right thing and she will laugh in your face.

I’m not cynical. I don’t think that life is this horrible thing. I
actually enjoy life everyday. And this thought process is how I learned
to do it. It’s really quite simple. Hope for the best, expect the worst
and be happy with anything in between. I made the mistake of sharing
that thought with Shane and Dana once a few years ago and they kept
telling me what a sad outlook it was. I don’t get it. I set myself to
be happy. I expect the worst at all times, so anything that isn’t the
worst thing imaginable is good to me. I’m just setting my expectations
low. No disappointment. By fifteen I’d had enough of that to last a
lifetime. I don’t understand why they thought it was a bad thing. I’m
not a sad person. I actually have fun and smile. And this is how I
learned to do it. After a while Shane got it, though she did mention
that vocalizing it made it sound really bad. I should just enjoy the
benefits of the thought and not share it too often. Dana on the other
hand tried for weeks to change my mind. She found the outlook so sad.
To never expect to be happy or to find what makes me happy.