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    Breathe– Chapter 5

    Story written on July 19, 2005 by Sox1.
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    52 votes, average: 3.62 out of 552 votes, average: 3.62 out of 552 votes, average: 3.62 out of 552 votes, average: 3.62 out of 552 votes, average: 3.62 out of 5 (52 votes, average: 3.62 out of 5)
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    Number of Comments: 40
    Words: 2636
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=55496
    Author Notes:

    Yea..formatting fixed: Bette gets a first look at forensics

    Bette stood and absentmindedly paced the floor until she found herself standing in front of her large picture window overlooking Lake Washington. Is there any way to know how much she hurt him, how obvious his injuries might be? she asked.

    No, James responded. But he cleaned all ten nails, so I assume she scratched him more than once and odds are at least a few are visible.

    Bette ran her fingers through her dark-brown hair and let out a heavy sigh as she pictured Marcey Fleming terrified and fighting desperately for her life. She really battled for her life, Bette said out loud not needing a response from James.

    Why dont we cover some of the random details and save the blood splatter for last, James suggested. Bette nodded even though James could not see her, and returned to her notes on the table.

    Before we move on James, great work on the nails. I guarantee you some CSIs would have missed it, Bette said warmly, wanting James to know that she fully appreciated his efforts. You really are the best of the best.

    Obviously pleased James continued. After examining the victim I am relieved we dont have two victims because I dont think the roommate missed him by much. He paused to make sure he allowed time for notes.

    It was about 90 minutes from the 9-1-1 call to the first temp taken on the body. Working backwards her temp would have been nearly normal when you responded to the call. In addition, she didnt have a lot left but very little of her blood had pooled internally suggesting that she was not on her back for an extended period of time. He paused letting his words communicate their full meaning to Bette.

    He was there, she said in a hushed tone.

    Or very nearby, James agreed. Have you interviewed your witness yet? Did she see anyone coming or going?

    Bette shook her head. James she was barely able to stay awake and build a few coherent sentences. It was too early. Ill try to draw her out a bit tomorrow and see where that leads us.

    James was surprised. He had worked with Bette Porter on nearly 50 cases and had never seen a witnesses emotional state deter her from capturing as many fresh details as possible.

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    Comments

    1. Great story, Sox. Re: formatting. The page generator is expecting html formatting to be embedded in your text. Manually adding a

      or two at the beginning of each paragraph may be enough to make it readable for now.

    2. Sorry Sox, forgot that I couldn’t use the actual html code within a comments box – it gets blanked out. So I’ll describe the key-symbols in longhand.

      Basically you’ll be manually adding a

      ‘sharp parentheses left’ p ‘sharp parentheses right’

      at the beginning of each paragraph.

    4. DAMN WONDERFUL STORY AND CHAPTER….WHO CARES ABOUT THE FORMATTING, ALL I KNOW IS YOU MUST CONTINUE..PLEASE..I AM SITTING AT THE EDGE OF MY SEAT WAITING FOR YOUR NEXT AWESOME CHAPTER…PLEASE POST REAL SOON….THANKS

    5. I don’t know why but your story makes me think about a great book (I don’t remember the title) and a movie with Denzel Washington, who was quadriplegic and Angelina Jolie. I think it’s the feeling of your story when I read it. It’s gripping. Thank you

    6. I have to admit that I don’t watch any of the ‘crime’ shows on TV. They are too dark and depressing for me…all that violence and hatred in the world. But, I am totally and completely hooked on this story…and it is because of your writing. Thank you.

    8. OMG! What are you a Crime Scene Investigator? Your details are great, I really feel like I’m in this situation with them. I can’t wait to find out what happens next. PLEASE post again soon!

    13. dont care about the formatting either. just keep writing. this is so good. bette the protector. of course. dont wait long between posts and send it as is. thanks

    18. wait… why did u stop writin, ur killin me here (pardon the really bad pun!)
      Oh and in resposne to ur question abt u stoppin, do not do that. There cud be no spaces between the words and id still read it, lol! see how addicted u have made me. Really, thank you for writing Sox
      DX

    19. I read and don’t normally comment……..but you write so well, so clearly and have such a sense of timing when you write…..it makes me want more. Don’t worry at all about the formatting, just write.

    22. Sox,
      Brilliant blending of The L Word and murder mystery.
      Am wondering if it will be a whodunnit rather than an interesting plot device to put a new slant on a familiar relationship.
      Anyhoo, that said, am just loving it.
      You have a real flair for this type of story. The scenes have been slowly and seductively set-up, crisp fresh dialogue that fairly bumps along mixed in with some genuine intrigue.
      Please continue this fabulous fan fic and bollocks to the formatting.
      I have need to read.
      Thanks for sharing your talent.
      A Loyal Fan.

    25. god this is a really great story!!! lovin’ every chapter of it. reminds me too much of katherine v. forrest…words that leap off a page and capture the readers attention. thanxs for taking the time to share this with us.
      a MOST gracious ten thumbs up to you and your story telling. continued success and cannot wait to read the concluding chapters.

    29. Wonderful detail and scene layout. Are you in law enforcement or a CSI? If not, your research is awesome. Who is this guy or….could it be a female killer? How rare are female serial killers? Maybe a female Jeckel & Hyde? Can’t wait until your next installment.

    30. sox – another great chapter – this mystery plus these characters makes for an intriquing heart-wrenchig new addition to my addiction for Bette and Tina. What can I say but thanks for writing so so beautifully. Are you a cop – you certainly seem to know your stuff??

    33. Don’t you dare stop writing while you fix the formatting!!!!! When the story is this captivating if flows regardless of formatting…and NO it’s not hard to read!!! Love it…waiting for MORE tks

    36. yea, formatting schmormatting, I am so hooked, I just love your writing style and the terrific suspense you build in your storytelling. Simply Awesome.

    38. ok I think it’s jenny lmao sorry I just had to say that. don’t ask me why. oh and a brittney??, all I have to say is I hate that breed. now that’s out of my mouth let me start going on with the story,damm it’s getting good, thank you for the awesome csi info, makes your story so much better, and a special shoe. And the picture, so bette better wake tina’s ass up and get some anwsers right now. And the killer was at the crime scene, he must of followed bette to her house. who cares about the formatting, just as long as you are still posting. that’s all that matters

    39. Loving it. The way you write dialogue is simply wonderful. Its so real and relaxed and never pushed. Dude I sound like a groupie, but then… I think I am one. LOL

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