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    Breathe– Chapter 5

    Story written on July 19, 2005 by Sox1.
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    52 votes, average: 3.62 out of 552 votes, average: 3.62 out of 552 votes, average: 3.62 out of 552 votes, average: 3.62 out of 552 votes, average: 3.62 out of 5 (52 votes, average: 3.62 out of 5)
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    Number of Comments: 40
    Words: 2636
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=55496
    Author Notes:

    Yea..formatting fixed: Bette gets a first look at forensics

    Do you think its wise to wait, he asked quietly, knowing that he was now hunting without a permit. He waited for Bettes response.

    Anything else or should we move on to blood splatter? she asked, ignoring his question.

    Not just yet, he said following her lead. There was a blood smear on the hallway wall and I thought we might get lucky with prints, but they were hers, he said, the disappointment clear in his voice. But, he once again paused for dramatic affect.

    Jesus Christ James, Bette said tersely, finally tiring of the pregnant pauses.

    We have a partial shoe print, James blurted as he realized he had pushed her too far.

    Bette set her pen down not sure she had heard him correctly. James, are you saying we actually have a piece of forensic evidence that proves this is an actual living, breathing human being and not some figment of our imagination?

    Yes, Detective Porter, that is exactly what I am telling you. James said as he smiled, knowing that Bette had been waiting for five months for the killer to finally leave a piece of himself behind.

    You said a partial print, Bette asked and then added, Let me guess, it is the most popular Nike cross-trainer on the market and is sold at every Foot Locker and WalMart in the nation.

    Bette, Bette, did your dog run away when you were a child giving root to all this cynicism, James scolded. Its an industrial shoe. Not a boot, but some type of work shoe that I think might be unique to a specific occupation. I havent identified it yet, Bette. But I promise I will find your shoe for you, He said quietly his voice reflecting the devotion and commitment he had to his job and Bette.

    Bette crossed the room to her printer and picked up two photos of the apartment where Marcey Fleming had drawn her last breath. The first thing Bette noticed was the sheer number of splatter paths James had marked with string.

    Adjusting the phone against her ear Bette said Ive got the photos. Isnt this far more splatter that the first three murders? Bette asked already knowing the answer to the question.

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    Comments

    1. Great story, Sox. Re: formatting. The page generator is expecting html formatting to be embedded in your text. Manually adding a

      or two at the beginning of each paragraph may be enough to make it readable for now.

    2. Sorry Sox, forgot that I couldn’t use the actual html code within a comments box – it gets blanked out. So I’ll describe the key-symbols in longhand.

      Basically you’ll be manually adding a

      ‘sharp parentheses left’ p ‘sharp parentheses right’

      at the beginning of each paragraph.

    4. DAMN WONDERFUL STORY AND CHAPTER….WHO CARES ABOUT THE FORMATTING, ALL I KNOW IS YOU MUST CONTINUE..PLEASE..I AM SITTING AT THE EDGE OF MY SEAT WAITING FOR YOUR NEXT AWESOME CHAPTER…PLEASE POST REAL SOON….THANKS

    5. I don’t know why but your story makes me think about a great book (I don’t remember the title) and a movie with Denzel Washington, who was quadriplegic and Angelina Jolie. I think it’s the feeling of your story when I read it. It’s gripping. Thank you

    6. I have to admit that I don’t watch any of the ‘crime’ shows on TV. They are too dark and depressing for me…all that violence and hatred in the world. But, I am totally and completely hooked on this story…and it is because of your writing. Thank you.

    8. OMG! What are you a Crime Scene Investigator? Your details are great, I really feel like I’m in this situation with them. I can’t wait to find out what happens next. PLEASE post again soon!

    13. dont care about the formatting either. just keep writing. this is so good. bette the protector. of course. dont wait long between posts and send it as is. thanks

    18. wait… why did u stop writin, ur killin me here (pardon the really bad pun!)
      Oh and in resposne to ur question abt u stoppin, do not do that. There cud be no spaces between the words and id still read it, lol! see how addicted u have made me. Really, thank you for writing Sox
      DX

    19. I read and don’t normally comment……..but you write so well, so clearly and have such a sense of timing when you write…..it makes me want more. Don’t worry at all about the formatting, just write.

    22. Sox,
      Brilliant blending of The L Word and murder mystery.
      Am wondering if it will be a whodunnit rather than an interesting plot device to put a new slant on a familiar relationship.
      Anyhoo, that said, am just loving it.
      You have a real flair for this type of story. The scenes have been slowly and seductively set-up, crisp fresh dialogue that fairly bumps along mixed in with some genuine intrigue.
      Please continue this fabulous fan fic and bollocks to the formatting.
      I have need to read.
      Thanks for sharing your talent.
      A Loyal Fan.

    25. god this is a really great story!!! lovin’ every chapter of it. reminds me too much of katherine v. forrest…words that leap off a page and capture the readers attention. thanxs for taking the time to share this with us.
      a MOST gracious ten thumbs up to you and your story telling. continued success and cannot wait to read the concluding chapters.

    29. Wonderful detail and scene layout. Are you in law enforcement or a CSI? If not, your research is awesome. Who is this guy or….could it be a female killer? How rare are female serial killers? Maybe a female Jeckel & Hyde? Can’t wait until your next installment.

    30. sox – another great chapter – this mystery plus these characters makes for an intriquing heart-wrenchig new addition to my addiction for Bette and Tina. What can I say but thanks for writing so so beautifully. Are you a cop – you certainly seem to know your stuff??

    33. Don’t you dare stop writing while you fix the formatting!!!!! When the story is this captivating if flows regardless of formatting…and NO it’s not hard to read!!! Love it…waiting for MORE tks

    36. yea, formatting schmormatting, I am so hooked, I just love your writing style and the terrific suspense you build in your storytelling. Simply Awesome.

    38. ok I think it’s jenny lmao sorry I just had to say that. don’t ask me why. oh and a brittney??, all I have to say is I hate that breed. now that’s out of my mouth let me start going on with the story,damm it’s getting good, thank you for the awesome csi info, makes your story so much better, and a special shoe. And the picture, so bette better wake tina’s ass up and get some anwsers right now. And the killer was at the crime scene, he must of followed bette to her house. who cares about the formatting, just as long as you are still posting. that’s all that matters

    39. Loving it. The way you write dialogue is simply wonderful. Its so real and relaxed and never pushed. Dude I sound like a groupie, but then… I think I am one. LOL

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