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Calamity Bette
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“Where’s my actor?” Kitty grumbled, seeing someone, but not who she was expecting.
Dana grabbed her bags closely to her as she sidled out of the grasps of the two Indians and left the stagecoach to follow the woman with the cigar.
***
Calamity Bette stood at the bar with the famous Wild Tina Hickok beside her, the townsfolk crowded around them as Bette told her story of the Indians that attacked them on their journey back to Deadwood.
“Tina…, it was without warning, down they come out of them hills howling like souls in torment… There must have been a hundred of them…”
Rattlesnake held up her hand behind Calamity, indicating her exaggeration of the truth amidst the laughter. All of them already knowing that if Calam said a hundred, she likely saw no more than half a dozen…
She turned suddenly, her temper flaring as she reacted to their laughs, “It weren’t no laughing matter…”
Tina raised her eyebrows, that certain smirk hidden as Calamity Bette told her story, “sure, it wasn’t. I’d hate to have a war party that big on my tail!”
“You know, Tina, except for me you’re the only other galoot in the world could have brought that coach in.” Bette boasted, not realising her own reputation was for an entirely different one than that of the infamous Wild Tina Hickok… “Of course, it called for some mighty rapid shootin… My gun got so hot I had to sit with my legs stretched holding the muzzle of my gun between my feet to keep it from curling up…”
Tina gave her most concerned look, “no…”
“Yep…, I must have killed at least 30 of them painted varmints before they got discouraged…”
The crowd erupted into laughter once again as Rattlesnake held two fingers aloft, holding her hand over her mouth to keep from laughing.
Calamity Bette looked ahead of her, seeing the reflection of their crowd in the mirrored backdrop of the bar; she saw the two fingers and turned to face Rattlesnake.
Her face was stern as Rattlesnake backed away, “I’ve got to see to the horses,” she muttered as she walked backwards a few steps then turned on her tail and ran. Her old brown trousers were tucked into her cowboy boots, she had an old suede waistcoat over the green shirt that had seen better days and the low slung gun and holster sat in its place at her hip.
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This is very interesting. I have to say I’ve never seen the movie. Hmmmm…may have to see if I can find it. Post again soon.
Well Hiya mate, Ya sure got somethin’ on ya hands here, dun ya? LMFAO! Its great mate ;) keep them coming :P
Fun story. Loved Calamity Jane too. Is the movie you watched the one with Doris Day as Calamity Jane?
BSring it on. “I can Do Anything You Can Do Better!” No music sucks; also one of my personal favorites
Excellent…real “Fun” story and you`ve done an excellent version of it…bet you were humming away writing it tho..lol..course you were!…looking forward to more soon!
LOL about lamentamini comment too funny!! the story by calamity his so funny… i feel like i’m watching this happen in saloon,,, ride’m cowboy, never saw the movie though,lol… :)PPS
Hey mate! Did ya finally get to bed the other night? LOL!!! This was BRILLIANT! I didn’t know we would see this one so soon, but what a hoot! Now I have a song or two in my head. LOL! Thanks so much for a refreshing fic.
Hey, Jo, this is hilarious! We want more of this story! You’re just on the right lane, mate! PPS – Lucero & Marsha (From Mexico City)
I can see Bette come strapping in with her whip and other cowboy stuff, and Tina dressed all in black. When do these two hook up? Soon I hope. That was a funny movie with Calamity Jane as the butt of somene’s joke but she sure showed ’em.
Not sure I like Tina having a variation of “cock” in her name. LOL! Gotta read now.
not familiar with the movie/ musical but my opinion has always been: is that any storyline is that much better for having B&T in it….so please do tease away….hmm, actually teasing is in keeping w/ the night i’ve had, just saw Cirque’s Zumanity – freaking amazing!!! Thx for helping to keep me entertained on my downtime in Sin City this weekend (i only gamble for fun w/ friends, i work too damn hard for my $!)
You practically had me on the floor, I was laughing so hard. It’s been awhile since I’ve seen this movie. B&T in the lead roles just makes it all that more special. PPS!!
Hey Jo, Like Shaz, I adore the movie. Am singing “Whip crack-away, whip crack-away,. out loud now. Can’t wait to read more. Many thanks for this fun adventure. Your Loyal Fan.
I’ve never seen the real show nor do I know of it but your story is very interesting and I think I’m hooked. Please continue real soon. Thanks!
Like you loved this film, love too see where you take this story.
LOL on Lament’s comment..Anyways, this looks like a very promising fic. I’m in for the ride!
Hello Jobadge, this was really really neat… I love that you are taking that film and twisting it with our lovely ladies… the language is so much fun also… but you made it feel so very real and definitely kept the fun elements in there… I love the light hearted nature of this story… you are a brilliant writer and I think you can take this someplace special… so I say go for it… let’s see this one ride unto dawn and into the sun… Sincerely, JC
I must’ve wtached this film a hundred times when I was younger. I have a soft spot for it, thus why I was incredibly excited when I saw your post. Good beginning, keep it up. Thanks ADx
This is interesting!