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Chapter 15 – When your child dies
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Alice fell in love with her niece so much that she came to NY as many as 5 times in six months, although before she could only be dragged here a couple of times a year for a couple of days (at best).
Their happiness ended in a second. In the evening, Bette bathed Oli as usual, Tina gave her a baby massage, gently stroking her with her fingertips, and they put her to sleep first in their bed, and then moved her to the crib that stood in their bedroom. In the first few months, she often woke up at night, so moms were on the lookout, but about a month ago, she developed a regime, she slept calmly and only woke up closer to the morning, so Bette or Tina only got up a couple of times to check on her at night to make sure that the diaper was dry and she was not hungry. This night was the same – Bette woke up around 2 am, checked that her daughter was asleep, adjusted her blanket, kissed her on the forehead and went to her bed. 2 hours later, Tina woke up to do the same. She went to the baby, bent down to remove the blanket and check the diaper, and noticed something strange – Oli’s left arm twitched, as if it was an involuntary muscle contraction. Tina put her hand on Oli’s stomach and a second later realized that The child was not breathing. Tina’s sleepy state disappeared in a moment from fright, she quickly began to feel for a pulse and could not recognize it. Her own hands began to shake, and she began to scream Bette’s name, her breath coming in ragged gasps, as if she couldn’t breathe. Bette immediately woke up and ran to her wife, realizing that something terrible had happened. Tina’s words about Oli not having a pulse came to her in the distance, as if she had been hit on the head, and she could hear Tina’s voice like an echo. While Tina called 911, Bette put Oli on the floor and gave her CPR for a minute, but no pulse appeared. Then she fixed the baby’s head with one hand, and with two fingers of the other hand began to do an indirect heart massage. She alternated between 1 blow of air and 5 taps on the sternum, repeating this over and over again, until the doctors came into the their house. A few minutes later, the ambulance doctor pronounced the child dead. A few minutes later, the police arrived. Both women were outwardly conscious, but inwardly disconnected. Tina didn’t let go of the baby until the last minute, and Bette tried to talk to the police, but her words were incoherent, and her voice sometimes disappearing.
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This was a difficult read for me. There are no words for me to write here. No explanation needed. I strongly felt the pain and it brought me to tears. The death was sudden and unexpected. That’s all I am able to write. Sorry.
Thank you for reading to the end.
Yeah, very diffucult chapter. Seeems strange for me that after their child death they both suffered alone and separetly, but maybe it already were the first signs of failed marriage.
In such stressful situations, the brain sometimes behaves strangely
I love Bette and Tina. I applaud all authors willing to take the plunge and put themselves out there by writing a story and then accepting feedback. That being said and with all due respect, your story, for me, is far too dark and confusing. Angie has way too much control over her parents. Now she is friendly with Eddie who is in prison. She is on a very dangerous and destructive path. Much more than typical teenage rebellion. She is headed for major problems if not already there. Using tantrums and threats and disrespect and manipulation to control her parents is just not okay. Also, if she had sex with Eddie as you have implied, by California law she was in fact raped. Legally, Angie is not old enough to consent. That IS the law. And it is enforced in that state. That is not to say that Eddie should be charged with statutory rape but given the fact that he broke into the house and attacked Tina it is to say that he could have been and puts a much more serious spin on Angie’s first sexual experience. But did she lie about having sex? Why did she need to see a gynecologist? STD? Pregnancy? Serious issues all of which seem to be just glossed over. And to all of a sudden introduce an infant child to the story and have that beautiful baby die in such a sad and horrific manner is beyond the pale. Given all this couple went through with the miscarriage this is just too much and so totally out of left field. And to what end? What is the point? If it is intended as a cruel means to just grind them into the ground and show how the marriage fell apart, you succeeded. To me it is an arbitrary and somewhat callous plot device by which to totally end them. In reality, as statistics show, this couple would not only most likely divorce but there would be no coming back. Too many reminders. I have experience with SIDS. My nephew. The subsequent physical and psychological pain,loss, blame, grief, and anger is just so severe that one never really recovers. Look at what the miscarriage did to them? You have chosen two topics: underage sex/ statutory rape and SIDS and minimized both. Again I ask, why? This is just too much for me.
Agree 100%.
Way too much trauma & drama to handle.
First of all, thank you for your opinion on this. Whatever it is, it’s important. I’m very sorry that this topic has affected your family.
Secondly, going to the gynecologist after the first sex is a normal practice that excludes STDs, unwanted pregnancies and injuries. I don’t see anything strange about it. And conversations between parents and their child’s therapist about the child’s mental state may say more than meets the eye.
Thirdly, I understand that this is probably too much for people who face stress and problems in life and come to this site to relax, read something for the soul. And the story about the death of a child may seem too blurry, incomplete, compared to other incredible stories on this site, but I write as I can and it may be far from ideal. I wanted to write a drama. And I wanted to make it as close as possible to life, to real life, and not to fairy tales. And in my experience, what I wrote often happens in life. Seventeen-year-olds have sex and you can think of it as rape, but in the end it’s not rape. Children die and parents deal with it in different ways, sometimes behaving differently than you think they should behave. And yes, everything is complicated and can’t be solved in a moment, but I think that’s what’s interesting. What’s interesting about simplicity? Perhaps I have a small vocabulary of English words and I just can’t Express what I want in a letter, so you see my story incomplete and minimized, but I really put my heart into it and try. I planned to finish this story in a few chapters, so it won’t mislead you anymore. Thank you and I’m sorry if this story has become something you’d rather not read and has taken up your time.
Not going to belabor the issue but trust me, this site is most certainly not too much for me. I think I have proven that and take some offense at the jab. I am 100 percent TiBette and make no apologies for that. I thoroughly enjoy reading those fairy tale stories you reference as well as high drama such as Remember Who You Are and I Will Not Let You Fall. Hard to get any more dramatic than these stories. It is absolutely your choice to write the story you choose to write and I applaud your efforts. I also stand by my feedback. Let us just agree to disagree. Best of luck with your story.
Yes, and thank you for being here. There was no aggression in my words. I didn’t mean to offend you in any way, really. You may have misunderstood me.
I also love Remember Who You Are :)
It’s all good.
Ada. I was not personally offended by your story. It is your story and your choice to take it anywhere you want. I just was not expecting it particularly now with the country in massive turmoil. I think I needed to read something more cheerful and uplifting. Thank you for writing on this site. Please continue
Thanks! It’s good that we always have a choice – what to read and what not to read
Wow not many people go down the path of the 2nd child. Tough writing, difficult subject.
A bit of a surprise, which is the only thing that did not work for me. Such a big emotional thing with no real foreshadowing.
K
Thank you for reading this! Your thoughts are very important to me because I loved Love, Loss and Living. I remember reading this story and thinking about how completely you describe all the actions, all the characters. I had clear images in my head, and it’s so interesting.
I really wanted to make a comment when I read this, but I decided to delay for a day of so.
You have chosen a very dark story line to follow with this Bette & Tina story. And you gave no previous indication that such a tragic event occurred in their life. Couple that with the real life stress with this election going on and I was simply not prepared to grapple with this heart breaking story line. The timing for me was not good. But I guess that is a personal problem for me.
If the loss of this child is what broke these two up, it’s hard to imagine them getting back together at all. Except for Angie, there would be so many bad memories that it would seem just in surmountable to overcome. I wish you well on showing us the path that they take to put their lives back together again. They have been through so much in their lives, but this would absolutely crush them. And it is obvious that they did not regain their footing enough to keep their family together. And that breaks my heart even more.
I hope you can pull this story out of the pit of devastation. You have a big job ahead of you. Good luck….
Thank you for writing a comment, Martha. I have a specific plan for writing this story, so I hope that all the actions will eventually be clear to you.
I worked as a pediatric respiratory therapist for 25+ years and SIDS is real. Such imaginable tragedy. I’m worried about Angie. Her love is most definitely blind and fails to see the red flags for substance and violence add that to Eddie’s emotional and physical abuse. The poor guy needs therapy. I do feel for Eddie but scared for my favorite family.
Interesting chapter. Keep up the great work. I’m need to destress from Election anxiety. Thank you for sharing your talent.
God, I’m not a US citizen, but I watch elections in a way that takes up a lot of my time… I hope for all the best for your country.
Thank you very much, Deanna.