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Chapter 15 – When your child dies
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Judging by external signs, doctors were able to name a possible cause of death-sudden cardiac arrest. Later this reason was confirmed, but it sounded different: Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. The bottom line is that in medical practice, this is rarely the final diagnosis, but in this case it happened just like that. The breathing of an absolutely healthy child stopped in one second, the autopsy did not establish the cause of death, so the cause remained unknown. Doctors gave official confirmation that the child was properly cared for, there were no bruises or abrasions on his body, internal organs were not damaged, the weight was normal and the body developed correctly. The only possible cause could be a disorder in the surrogate mother’s body during pregnancy, which was not reported in her medical record and which was not diagnosed during numerous examinations, which in itself was almost impossible.
The first week was a blur. Bette didn’t eat anything, Kit occasionally made her drink water or broth, and Tina cried a lot at first and then slept all the time. She could sleep for several days, sometimes waking up to drink water or go to the toilet. Shane and Alice are here to take Angie away for a while. She shouldn’t have seen her moms like this. She was 12, considered herself an adult and understood everything, but her aunts knew that it would be better for her to distract herself now.
A week later, Bette went outside for the first time to walk to the supermarket. Her trip ended with her falling to her knees near the children’s toy Department and sobbing as hard as she could. It was the first time she had cried since Oli died. Kit brought her home and then Bette had the first tantrum of her life. She screamed, cried, threw chairs, vases, books, dishes, and everything that came to hand. Her sister made sure that she didn’t get hurt, but let Bette’s feelings get out, and then was able to persuade her to take a few sedatives.
A few days later, Tina and Bette spoke for the first time since Oli’s death. They didn’t speak for 16 days in a row – an absolute record not only for them, but for any couple, if in such a situation it is possible to set records at all. They slept in separate rooms and did not overlap in the apartment. Their friends didn’t understand why they were reacting this way or why they didn’t want to hear each other’s names. One night Kit was cooking dinner for them and Bette left the room to put the kettle on. At the same time, Tina came into the kitchen. They looked at each other as if they had seen a Ghost, and a few seconds later they were one, hugging each other and crying silently. The room was completely silent, but Kit was taken aback by how loud these women’s pain was. It was in the air, in their every breath, in their every sob.
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This was a difficult read for me. There are no words for me to write here. No explanation needed. I strongly felt the pain and it brought me to tears. The death was sudden and unexpected. That’s all I am able to write. Sorry.
Thank you for reading to the end.
Yeah, very diffucult chapter. Seeems strange for me that after their child death they both suffered alone and separetly, but maybe it already were the first signs of failed marriage.
In such stressful situations, the brain sometimes behaves strangely
I love Bette and Tina. I applaud all authors willing to take the plunge and put themselves out there by writing a story and then accepting feedback. That being said and with all due respect, your story, for me, is far too dark and confusing. Angie has way too much control over her parents. Now she is friendly with Eddie who is in prison. She is on a very dangerous and destructive path. Much more than typical teenage rebellion. She is headed for major problems if not already there. Using tantrums and threats and disrespect and manipulation to control her parents is just not okay. Also, if she had sex with Eddie as you have implied, by California law she was in fact raped. Legally, Angie is not old enough to consent. That IS the law. And it is enforced in that state. That is not to say that Eddie should be charged with statutory rape but given the fact that he broke into the house and attacked Tina it is to say that he could have been and puts a much more serious spin on Angie’s first sexual experience. But did she lie about having sex? Why did she need to see a gynecologist? STD? Pregnancy? Serious issues all of which seem to be just glossed over. And to all of a sudden introduce an infant child to the story and have that beautiful baby die in such a sad and horrific manner is beyond the pale. Given all this couple went through with the miscarriage this is just too much and so totally out of left field. And to what end? What is the point? If it is intended as a cruel means to just grind them into the ground and show how the marriage fell apart, you succeeded. To me it is an arbitrary and somewhat callous plot device by which to totally end them. In reality, as statistics show, this couple would not only most likely divorce but there would be no coming back. Too many reminders. I have experience with SIDS. My nephew. The subsequent physical and psychological pain,loss, blame, grief, and anger is just so severe that one never really recovers. Look at what the miscarriage did to them? You have chosen two topics: underage sex/ statutory rape and SIDS and minimized both. Again I ask, why? This is just too much for me.
Agree 100%.
Way too much trauma & drama to handle.
First of all, thank you for your opinion on this. Whatever it is, it’s important. I’m very sorry that this topic has affected your family.
Secondly, going to the gynecologist after the first sex is a normal practice that excludes STDs, unwanted pregnancies and injuries. I don’t see anything strange about it. And conversations between parents and their child’s therapist about the child’s mental state may say more than meets the eye.
Thirdly, I understand that this is probably too much for people who face stress and problems in life and come to this site to relax, read something for the soul. And the story about the death of a child may seem too blurry, incomplete, compared to other incredible stories on this site, but I write as I can and it may be far from ideal. I wanted to write a drama. And I wanted to make it as close as possible to life, to real life, and not to fairy tales. And in my experience, what I wrote often happens in life. Seventeen-year-olds have sex and you can think of it as rape, but in the end it’s not rape. Children die and parents deal with it in different ways, sometimes behaving differently than you think they should behave. And yes, everything is complicated and can’t be solved in a moment, but I think that’s what’s interesting. What’s interesting about simplicity? Perhaps I have a small vocabulary of English words and I just can’t Express what I want in a letter, so you see my story incomplete and minimized, but I really put my heart into it and try. I planned to finish this story in a few chapters, so it won’t mislead you anymore. Thank you and I’m sorry if this story has become something you’d rather not read and has taken up your time.
Not going to belabor the issue but trust me, this site is most certainly not too much for me. I think I have proven that and take some offense at the jab. I am 100 percent TiBette and make no apologies for that. I thoroughly enjoy reading those fairy tale stories you reference as well as high drama such as Remember Who You Are and I Will Not Let You Fall. Hard to get any more dramatic than these stories. It is absolutely your choice to write the story you choose to write and I applaud your efforts. I also stand by my feedback. Let us just agree to disagree. Best of luck with your story.
Yes, and thank you for being here. There was no aggression in my words. I didn’t mean to offend you in any way, really. You may have misunderstood me.
I also love Remember Who You Are :)
It’s all good.
Ada. I was not personally offended by your story. It is your story and your choice to take it anywhere you want. I just was not expecting it particularly now with the country in massive turmoil. I think I needed to read something more cheerful and uplifting. Thank you for writing on this site. Please continue
Thanks! It’s good that we always have a choice – what to read and what not to read
Wow not many people go down the path of the 2nd child. Tough writing, difficult subject.
A bit of a surprise, which is the only thing that did not work for me. Such a big emotional thing with no real foreshadowing.
K
Thank you for reading this! Your thoughts are very important to me because I loved Love, Loss and Living. I remember reading this story and thinking about how completely you describe all the actions, all the characters. I had clear images in my head, and it’s so interesting.
I really wanted to make a comment when I read this, but I decided to delay for a day of so.
You have chosen a very dark story line to follow with this Bette & Tina story. And you gave no previous indication that such a tragic event occurred in their life. Couple that with the real life stress with this election going on and I was simply not prepared to grapple with this heart breaking story line. The timing for me was not good. But I guess that is a personal problem for me.
If the loss of this child is what broke these two up, it’s hard to imagine them getting back together at all. Except for Angie, there would be so many bad memories that it would seem just in surmountable to overcome. I wish you well on showing us the path that they take to put their lives back together again. They have been through so much in their lives, but this would absolutely crush them. And it is obvious that they did not regain their footing enough to keep their family together. And that breaks my heart even more.
I hope you can pull this story out of the pit of devastation. You have a big job ahead of you. Good luck….
Thank you for writing a comment, Martha. I have a specific plan for writing this story, so I hope that all the actions will eventually be clear to you.
I worked as a pediatric respiratory therapist for 25+ years and SIDS is real. Such imaginable tragedy. I’m worried about Angie. Her love is most definitely blind and fails to see the red flags for substance and violence add that to Eddie’s emotional and physical abuse. The poor guy needs therapy. I do feel for Eddie but scared for my favorite family.
Interesting chapter. Keep up the great work. I’m need to destress from Election anxiety. Thank you for sharing your talent.
God, I’m not a US citizen, but I watch elections in a way that takes up a lot of my time… I hope for all the best for your country.
Thank you very much, Deanna.