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Noah is finally sleeping thanks to Bette. She has done his bedtime routine with him, all I have done is sat in our roof top garden trying my best to get my thoughts together. it hadn’t worked. It had been a massive shock to get that massage from my mother and father. I’m not sure how they got my number.
I take a sip of my water. Rubbing my head.
“Are you okay babe?” Bette says as she joins me leaving the doors into our large living area open.
“I don’t know. Has Noah gone down okay?”
“He has, I think he has had the best day,”
“So he should. I want him to have the best gotta ya day.”
“I’ve just got to make you Mrs Kennard-Porter and we are sorted.” Bette smiles as she speaks.
I love her. I reach out and take her hand.
“Soon we will have our wedding,” I smile.
“Soon,” Bette replies softly. She takes my hand and kisses it. “Have you replied to that text?”
“I’m not sure I want too. My past hurts. Seeing Logan was hard enough but these are my parents. The two people who should have protecting me but instead they rejected me. They didn’t believe that I was raped. They didn’t believe that I was lost. I am not sure I want them in Noah’s life.”
I drop my head. I still carry around to much shame over that period.
“They don’t have to just walk back into your life like nothing happened.”
“I won’t let them,”
“I know I know hear me out,”
“Okay,” I nod.
“You have the right to contact them, you need answers Ti, you need that closure. You’re an amazing mother. You’re a brilliant person and a very loving partner. You’re all those things without them.”
I sit for a moment.
“I’m scared,” I admit.
“I know babe, this must be hard for you but you need the closure. You’ve found the closure with Logan, now it’s time to find it with your parents.”
Bette got up and left me for a few moments. I took a deep breath. I picked up my cell phone. I don’t even know where to start. But I know my love is right. I need the closure. I need to be secure in myself. Not just for me but for Noah and Bette. I type the message a few times before I settle on.