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    Chapter 17 – Only together, only forward

    Story written on November 24, 2020 by Ada.
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    6 votes, average: 5.00 out of 56 votes, average: 5.00 out of 56 votes, average: 5.00 out of 56 votes, average: 5.00 out of 56 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5 (6 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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    Number of Comments: 8
    Words: 12236
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=106547
    Author Notes:

      Salma asked Bette a similar question and she answered immediately, without hesitation. Tina paused for a moment before answering. Not because she wasn’t sure or didn’t know the answer, but because she wanted a more succinct definition.   ”When it comes to Bette, it’s hard for me to just describe her in words. Well,

     

    Salma asked Bette a similar question and she answered immediately, without hesitation. Tina paused for a moment before answering. Not because she wasn’t sure or didn’t know the answer, but because she wanted a more succinct definition.

     

    ”When it comes to Bette, it’s hard for me to just describe her in words. Well, it represents all the most native and important. If everything I had was taken away from me, but she was there for me, I think I could have survived. That’s what she means to me”

     

    ”You were able to survive after the death of Oli. Was Bette around?”

     

    Tina visibly tensed. She had been leaning back on the sofa, but now she straightened up and moved to the edge of the sofa, her elbows on her hips and her hands clasped. ”At the time, she was as close as she could get. It was her way of survival”

     

    Salma nodded slowly. ”The last time we met, you said you lost not only Olivia, but Bette at that time. Can you develop that thought now?”

     

    Tina put the bottle down on the table and looked down. ”Yes, I lost her for a while” Her voice was quieter. That meant she was worried. ”The strange thing is, I didn’t blame her for it. It still surprises me, but I didn’t blame her. I was in pain, but I knew that no one had taught us how to deal with such grief. And even if someone told us what to do and how to behave , it wasn’t something that helped us. Nothing has ever helped us. Our shared world, built over the years, suddenly split into two separate worlds.”

     

    ”Did you ever think Bette was easier than you were?” 

     

    ”Yeah, I had this feeling sometimes. I thought Bette was better at it, I was amazed that she was so strong that she could go through with it at a time when I couldn’t even talk without pills. I was angry with her, I didn’t understand her calmness. But then, after looking at her more closely, analyzing her behavior and how I know her, I realized that she just slammed the door with all the pain and all the fears. And she still hasn’t opened it. At some point, it started to scare me, because nothing like this had ever happened to Bette before, she was going through even minor problems quite emotionally, but at that time, after such a loss, there was an emptiness and external humility. After a while, I realized we shouldn’t talk about it. Bette’s mind is protecting her. Forcibly touching on this topic is dangerous for her mental health”

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    Comments

    1. This story is very sad, yet inspiring. From the depths of despair can come hope if one will just look for it. Bette and Tina have both repressed their feeling of loss and hurt for a long time. And although this loss is something they will never get over they must learn to live with it and to put their lives into a loving and caring relationship with each other and with Angie. Its time to acknowledge the loss, feel the pain, heal each other and learn how to go forward as a result. Loss of a child is devastating. Dealing with it even more difficult. It can tear families apart… these two need each other… I believe they have made a good and positive start. They just need to get to the point where they turn to each other every time, when in need of comfort and solace and to be present when those times arise.

      Thanks for the update….

      • Thank you for reading, Martha!
        I really like your phrase “from the depths of despair can come hope if one will just look for it”
        I think it makes a lot of sense.

    2. Hi Ada,

      This was so good, i almost don’t have words to describe how this chapter touched my heart.

      I don’t have children and can’t imagine what a devasted loss it is when your child suddenly dies, but you did a excellent job to describe what Bette and Tina went through when they lost Oli.

      I have full confidence in that this therapist will help Bette and Tina to come to terms with the loss of Oli and give it a place.

      For the rest, I can only say that I fully agree with what Martha has written in her comment.

      This is definitely one of the best chapters you have written!

      I know I don’t always write a comment but I’ll follow your story from the beginning and through to your last chapter!

      Thank you, be careful and stay healthy!

      • Thank you so much for such wonderful words, Bibi!
        Although your comments are not frequent, they are always very interesting to read. The feedback is really important to me, and the fact that you gave it this time is so nice. I hope that you will enjoy the continuation of this story no less. Thanks and be careful too!

    3. Ok, it was not easy chapter also.

      I like the story about how Tina’s cold reaction on Kit’s death might be subconsciously reaction and even revenge for Bette’s reaction for Oli’s death. I think it’s very trustworthy. – as the story in s3 when i think all Henry story was Tina’s subconsciously revenge to Bette for carpenter.

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