Fan Fiction
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Chapter 17 – Only together, only forward
”Yes. We even talked about it with Tina a few days ago. I don’t know how we’ll be here without Angie. We will miss her very much when she is studying so far away. But why do you think that I’m ready now and it will be easier for me to get over Oli’s death now than it was five years ago? ”
”Because time has passed. Just because your emotions were blocked doesn’t mean you’re still at the same level as you were five years ago. You have developed, you have had happy moments in your life, and this changes the intensity with which the past affects you. Many of my colleagues distinguish between three and twelve stages of grief. It is assumed that a person moves from one stage to another and thus his pain becomes less. I believe that these stages are always very vague and individual, you can not classify all people indiscriminately. In your case, based on everything you’ve said and what I’ve seen, I’m inclined to distinguish three global stages: recognition of the fact of loss, the transition from the acute grief that you felt a few months after Oli’s death to an integrated one. And the third stage that you are in now is what is called the ”frozen” state. At this stage, there is no dynamic state, you seem to be fine, but in fact your loss remains incomplete, hanging in the air. You can’t look at her photos or pick up her toys. Now our task is to resume the process and add another stage – not only to recognize the death, but also to let go of the fact that it happened. Find new, constructive, less painful ways to remember Oli without destroying yourself.”
”I’m not sure I’m ready for this. I feel like I want to get into it, figure it out, but I don’t know if I have the strength” It was hard for Bette to admit her weakness in front of a stranger, but she felt that Salma could be trusted. She could see that this woman really knew what she was talking about and might be able to help Bette open that door and enter the scare room.
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Martha3128 says
This story is very sad, yet inspiring. From the depths of despair can come hope if one will just look for it. Bette and Tina have both repressed their feeling of loss and hurt for a long time. And although this loss is something they will never get over they must learn to live with it and to put their lives into a loving and caring relationship with each other and with Angie. Its time to acknowledge the loss, feel the pain, heal each other and learn how to go forward as a result. Loss of a child is devastating. Dealing with it even more difficult. It can tear families apart… these two need each other… I believe they have made a good and positive start. They just need to get to the point where they turn to each other every time, when in need of comfort and solace and to be present when those times arise.
Thanks for the update….
Ada says
Thank you for reading, Martha!
I really like your phrase “from the depths of despair can come hope if one will just look for it”
I think it makes a lot of sense.
Bibi28 says
Hi Ada,
This was so good, i almost don’t have words to describe how this chapter touched my heart.
I don’t have children and can’t imagine what a devasted loss it is when your child suddenly dies, but you did a excellent job to describe what Bette and Tina went through when they lost Oli.
I have full confidence in that this therapist will help Bette and Tina to come to terms with the loss of Oli and give it a place.
For the rest, I can only say that I fully agree with what Martha has written in her comment.
This is definitely one of the best chapters you have written!
I know I don’t always write a comment but I’ll follow your story from the beginning and through to your last chapter!
Thank you, be careful and stay healthy!
Ada says
Thank you so much for such wonderful words, Bibi!
Although your comments are not frequent, they are always very interesting to read. The feedback is really important to me, and the fact that you gave it this time is so nice. I hope that you will enjoy the continuation of this story no less. Thanks and be careful too!
Zhenya says
Ok, it was not easy chapter also.
I like the story about how Tina’s cold reaction on Kit’s death might be subconsciously reaction and even revenge for Bette’s reaction for Oli’s death. I think it’s very trustworthy. – as the story in s3 when i think all Henry story was Tina’s subconsciously revenge to Bette for carpenter.
Ada says
Yeah, when viewing s3, I had the same thoughts.
Thank you, Zhenya!
Deanna says
Wow! Such an emotional chapter and very well articulated. The depth of these characters is never ending. Great chapter.
Ada says
Thank you very much! This is so important.