Fan Fiction
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Chapter 17 – Only together, only forward
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Bette listened to Salma, almost holding her breath. Her gaze was completely attentive, trying to analyze her every word.
”But why did it affect me this way? Why did this blockade happen? Most parents can’t accept that their child has died, but I just….. just forgot about it? What does it mean?”
”Not exactly. You have always remembered this, but your brain has not experienced the impulse that is responsible for grief, for the manifestation of emotions. According to my observations, this happens more often with people who, on the contrary, are very emotional in life, sometimes overly emotional. I think you’re that kind of person. So when you had such a tragedy in your life, your brain blocked some part of the emotions so that you could survive this stage, so that the feelings did not overwhelm you so much that you could not stand it. In psychology, there is a condition called ” denial of the significance of loss” Do you think …”
”No, no,” Salma didn’t have time to ask her question when Bette suddenly stopped her and shook her head. ”I never devalued the importance of Oli. I loved her and still do. I would never deny how much her death has affected me, Tina, and our family.”
Salma stared at Bette in silence, then began to speak. ”Bette, I’m not saying in any way that you didn’t love her or that you devalued her. The condition I mentioned has nothing to do with it. It only says that a person is afraid to face reality, hastily removes all the personal belongings of the deceased and everything that can remind them of him. This behavior allows a bereaved person to avoid facing the reality of loss. This is one of the defense mechanisms that we can’t control. Sometimes this condition is prolonged, which also contributes to the delayed experience of loss, after a few months or years.”
Bette calmed down more or less, closed her eyes, exhaled, and opened them a few seconds later. ”But what has changed now? Why am I starting to think about it again now?”
”I think your family trip to New York was the catalyst for lifting the blockade of emotions and memories. I also think it’s been helped by the fact that Angie’s going to college and moving in is getting closer. On a subconscious level, you realize that soon your daughter will move away from you, you will be far away from each other, you will communicate less. This is also a kind of ”loss” in the understanding of your subconscious and this loss is associated with the emptiness that you felt after the death of Oli. Do you think that’s true?”
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This story is very sad, yet inspiring. From the depths of despair can come hope if one will just look for it. Bette and Tina have both repressed their feeling of loss and hurt for a long time. And although this loss is something they will never get over they must learn to live with it and to put their lives into a loving and caring relationship with each other and with Angie. Its time to acknowledge the loss, feel the pain, heal each other and learn how to go forward as a result. Loss of a child is devastating. Dealing with it even more difficult. It can tear families apart… these two need each other… I believe they have made a good and positive start. They just need to get to the point where they turn to each other every time, when in need of comfort and solace and to be present when those times arise.
Thanks for the update….
Thank you for reading, Martha!
I really like your phrase “from the depths of despair can come hope if one will just look for it”
I think it makes a lot of sense.
Hi Ada,
This was so good, i almost don’t have words to describe how this chapter touched my heart.
I don’t have children and can’t imagine what a devasted loss it is when your child suddenly dies, but you did a excellent job to describe what Bette and Tina went through when they lost Oli.
I have full confidence in that this therapist will help Bette and Tina to come to terms with the loss of Oli and give it a place.
For the rest, I can only say that I fully agree with what Martha has written in her comment.
This is definitely one of the best chapters you have written!
I know I don’t always write a comment but I’ll follow your story from the beginning and through to your last chapter!
Thank you, be careful and stay healthy!
Thank you so much for such wonderful words, Bibi!
Although your comments are not frequent, they are always very interesting to read. The feedback is really important to me, and the fact that you gave it this time is so nice. I hope that you will enjoy the continuation of this story no less. Thanks and be careful too!
Ok, it was not easy chapter also.
I like the story about how Tina’s cold reaction on Kit’s death might be subconsciously reaction and even revenge for Bette’s reaction for Oli’s death. I think it’s very trustworthy. – as the story in s3 when i think all Henry story was Tina’s subconsciously revenge to Bette for carpenter.
Yeah, when viewing s3, I had the same thoughts.
Thank you, Zhenya!
Wow! Such an emotional chapter and very well articulated. The depth of these characters is never ending. Great chapter.
Thank you very much! This is so important.