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Chapter 18 – The destruction and merging
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”Seriously, Alice? Have you talked to everyone about this yet? Would you like to hear my opinion on this subject?”
”What’s your opinion? I mean, this woman seems to have some influence on you, and you will protect her to the last. Flirting can be pleasant and nourishing, you know I don’t mind it, but not when it’s a person you see every day and these hints become permanent and public. I felt like an idiot when you two sat there and showed everyone how much you liked to charm each other. You like spending time with her is one thing, but the fact that you like how she seduces you with her actions and words is quite another”
Tina was now looking at Bette in frustration, her head tilted slightly to the side. ”I would have understood your behavior twenty years ago. But now, after everything we’ve been through, it’s really weird to see you think I need some fucking flirtation or something more with anyone. You talk to me so much about love and really show it, and then you say things like this and I don’t know… I think it’s awful of you”
Tina got up and left the patio immediately after that. She picked up her phone from the kitchen table and went up to the bedroom.
”Fuck”
Bette said this on an exhalation and covered her eyes with her right hand. She sat there for several minutes. From the outside, it looked like she was frozen, but there were a huge number of thoughts running through her head right now. She wondered what it was about Margot and Tina that annoyed her so much. Maybe Tina’s right, and Bette really sees things that aren’t there. Maybe deep down she’s really looking for an excuse to fight with Tina, and Margot is just a cover and passive aggression? But why? To get out of herself all the negative and complex emotions that she feels because of therapy, past resentments, uncertainty about something? But why is she trying to take it out on Tina? Because we most often take it out on the closest and most loved ones? Bette didn’t want to admit to herself that she still hadn’t fully recovered from their divorce and was still afraid of losing Tina. She didn’t feel it all the time, didn’t think about it every day, but in moments of introspection, she realized that this fear was deep in her soul. The fear that for some reason they will start to mismanage their relationship again, Tina will miss something and she will find this missing element in another person, as she once found in Carrie.
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So Bette is jealous of Margot because she is still afraid that Tina might leave her again. Actually that is a reasonable fear and I think that Bette should talk to Tina about it. Bette should definitely explore this fear with her therapist as well. Tina needs to understand that her leaving the relationship has left Bette with that fear – its happened three times already and who’s to say that a Margot or someone like her might bring on another exit.
Tina is a smart woman – she knew there was a problem and she should have seen jealousy as symptom. She knows Bette well enough to know that Bette was not comfortable with Margot conversation. Bette was smiling in that being polite but not genuinely glad to see Margot. And Margot had the same expression. So why bring it up when Bette has provided a romantic setting for the evening ending celebration? Why not wait until breakfast the next morning? Let the evening flow as it will?
Now, the arrival of Natalie? If Natalie is really running away from home on her own, she would have her cell phone. She would have some money or some kind of plan for her journey. She would not just show up on someone’s doorstep. But she shows up abruptly and unannounced. And I think she would have had a better story than what she had if she were running away. Of course there maybe more going on at home than she is saying.
Interesting chapter…. it seems that there is just no end of problems – let’s hope that Tina and Bette can hold it in the road while they get through all these challenges.
Post more when you can…. I want to see how they get to a somewhat normal life.
I will try to publish the next chapter as quickly as possible. Thank you for your thoughts and attention to this story!
Thank you for the chapter!
Oh, first – i love jealous Bette :). And i think she has her reason to do it – to be suspicion about this Margo.
Second – i think it’s right thing what Bette did – texting Natalie father and let him know where his daughter.
And third – i think Tina also right what she said about Natalie and her father’s fight. They need to listen his story (if he wants to tell it) and then judge him.
Yeah, Bette’s jealous side has its charm :)
Thank you, Zhenya!
Bette is jealous of Margot and upset that Tina appears to respond. At least they talked. Tina has to set boundaries with Margot and I feel this will help Bette.
Poor Natalie. At least Bette contacted her father.
I think you’re right about boundaries. Good to see you here!