Bette: How did your exam go?

Tina:  Same as usual. Awkward for a few moments and then it was over. I think that mashing on my breasts gets to me worse than the vaginal exam. I guess that is because I can see and feel what the good doctor is doing, where I can’t see and don’t feel much of the other. And why in the hell do they have to have such a cold plate to rest your breast on in that mammography session. You would think there would be a way to warm that thing up.

Bette laughing:  Yeah, that always a shock to my system; laying my boobies on a cold piece of glass. And then they mash the hell out of them. And then they have the audacity to say hold your breath! God, don’t they know that once my boob hit that cold ass glass, I quit breathing!

Tina giggled:  Well, I usually quit breathing with the pressure from the mashing process! And I don’t breathe again until they release my boob.

Bette smiled: I think I do pretty much the same. Thank goodness we don’t have to do that process very often.

Tina:  Yeah, but I’m glad we did it today. It was time for us to have a checkup. So how do you feel about the both of us beginning our menopause phase of life.

Bette:  No more periods! That is the most glorious news I could have gotten. I have been having periods for forty years and I could use a break. I’m not going to miss that part of being a woman one bit!

Tina (laughing):  You are right. I hadn’t thought about that. That is certainly a nice benefit. No more PMS, maybe we can cut down on our Motrin purchases. No more monthly mood swings!

Bette:  Yeah, but we may get several months of mood swings instead. And I really do not want those either.

Tina:  Maybe not. I haven’t noticed any mood swings in you so far except that you are a lot more amorous than you have been previously. You’ve been really patient with the kids. You were very congenial with all of our friends – no disagreements and no hurt feelings. You’ve been more sensitive to others such as Paris and Kit in dealing with this Melvin thing. I would say that you have been a model human being.