Fan Fiction
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Christmas with the Kennards – Chapter 2
“Spreading good will toward men,” Alice said with a smile. “Or in this case a cranky woman who isn’t in the Christmas spirit.”
“Who said I wasn’t in the spirit?” Bette asked as she leaned across the doorframe, blocking Alice’s entrance into the house.
“Ok then,” Alice cleared her throat and stuck her stomach out, placing her hands on it. “Ho-ho-ho! Or my version which is Shane-Shane-Shane!”
Despite her valiant attempt, Bette couldn’t help but smile as Shane pushed past her.
“Very funny,” Shane said spying Dana biting back a smile. “Merry f’in Christmas.”
Shane tugged at the bow now stuck to her messed hair. She immediately greeted Tina with a warm hug when she appeared from the hallway.
“I liked the bow better, it added to the messed up look, the mystery about you and your hair.”
“There’s no mystery,” Shane shot back.
“What’s going on?” Bette demanded.
“Didn’t Tina tell you?” Alice said placing a spare bow on Bette’s head. “We’re coming Christmas shopping with you today!”
“No,” Bette forced a smile as she met her wife’s apologetic eyes. “Tina did not tell me that you were coming shopping.”
“I would have been here at like five a.m. this morning but someone, who shall remain nameless,” Alice coughed as her eyes darted in Shane’s direction, “Shane – she wouldn’t let us get here before now. Aren’t the bows a nice treat?”
“Why would you be going shopping with us?” Bette asked as Tina began to snake her arms around Bette’s waist.
“I think you need to get in the spirit of the holidays more,” Tina confessed. “Nobody does that like Alice and the gang.”
“It’s true,” Dana admitted, “her apartment is a festival of lights already.”
“We might as well get this over with,” Bette said as she reached for her purse and keys. “What stores are we going to?”
“Depends on what we’re getting my family,” Tina answered, slipping into a light, leather jacket. “Got any thoughts?”
“Oh I do!” Alice launched her hand in the air quickly.
“I didn’t ask you.”
“What? I can’t offer my opinion?”
Dana smiled at the mocked expression of hurt and shock that crossed Alice’s face.
“I’ll have you know I’m practically an expert on gifts,” Alice said in her defense. “The key is to get something that completely reflects the person, which can also be a personal moment between you and the receiver.”
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toby4ever says
Hahaha…if they’re smart, nobody will take that Bette. Fabulous Lin…very funny…waiting for your next update!
melrose231 says
a pleasure to read as always! so funny and they’re not even in north carolina yet! lol
arwen487 says
Poor Bette!! now she won’t have her week of sex with Tina, but also she will be spending Christmas with Alice!! =/ I really pity her xD
lucybelly says
Get out the Christmas sweaters… we’re all going to Asheville! Welcome back, Gumby. I’m so happy to see you continuing with the Kennard clan. Poor Bette!
valenkat7 says
If Tina was trying to butter up Bette before telling her about the gang going, she is in for a surprise. A little nookie and a lot of left out details spells trouble! but in time I’m sure Bette will get over it. PPS this is just too funny:)
azmama says
Oy to the Vey!!!!
jb621 says
I was cracking up over Alice talking to Ma Kennard three times a week & now she’s changing her fashion style! LMAO. Bette just likes to play the role of scrooge but in the end, she’s a softie at heart. PS
honda90 says
OMG, I can’t wait to see Alice in NC again!!! this really is too good, thanks for the update, in both places!!
Dainty says
Just too funny. I just knew the entire gang was going to the Kennards for Christmas. I feel sorry for Bette and Tina should make a start on lots of loving before they leave for the holiday so that Bette will at least get some of her time with Tina and be able to enjoy the time away. Poor Bette. Great fun. PPS
talaula says
GUMBY!!!!!!!!!!! Lu and I really enjoyed this story, and hope that one day you and Jenny’s mom would tell your love story as well. We all know how that story would begin. With a blow-up doll. Hee-hee-hee!
Eddy says
Poor Bette, I would also look for a window to trow me out when Alice and the gang is going with them to NC to Ma Kennard. Amazing story. PPS
BetteAndTinaForever says
LOL…alice is something, isn’t she? this xmias is going to be fuuuuuun :) i hope TiBette will find time and place to have some hot sex though ;)
m_s_gypsy says
I’m goddy for this story to unfold.
miamigrl says
OMG, they are the “5 Stooges”!
smiley says
I love it! More please
lami says
Wow, it’s so great to see you posting a new story. Can’t wait for more. Thanks Gumby.
ut says
That was funny and love it. Alice is driving Bette crazy lol but gonna love her. Please post more, thanks!
without labels says
I love your sense of humor, and the way you write friends and family gatherings, it’s so beautiful and fun. Thank you so much Gumby, you are the best. Love
Jobadge says
Well look who turned up again – what a great way to burst back on the scene! Loved both chapters mate, glad to see your name there x
fergz1 says
LMAO..I guess if they are on the second floor of a mall Bette could just through herself over a rail to the first floor. Tina should have picked Hawaii…this is going to be funny.
beachlife says
alice talking to tina’s mom,lol. spending the whole week with alice… poor bette. tina is so bad,lol :)PPS
caramel4vanilla says
fabulously funny
ecstasythrumusic says
I saw that one coming Gumby. Christmas shopping is a pain.I say online all the way.PPS.
divinemu says
Poor Bette, being tortured in so many ways. Hysterically funny. Thank you.