Fan Fiction
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Christmas with the Kennards – Chapter 2
“Wow you do it have it down to a science,” Shane said with a hint of sarcasm and humor in her voice.
“I wrote an article about it, rather than a Top 10 list of the hottest gifts.”
Alice walked toward Bette with a smile and linked her arm with the tall brunette’s. She guided Bette toward the front door as she spoke loud enough for the entire group to hear.
“So Tina’s family is rather easy,” Alice continued. “Take James for instance. If you took a very provocative picture of yourself Bette and blew it up to an 8 x 10…”
“Or put yourself under the tree with nothing on but a bow,” Dana chimed in before Bette could speak.
“He’d be set for a year,” Alice finished proudly as Bette glared in her direction.
“Do I even have to remind you how wrong that is?”
“Or do I?” Tina arched her eyebrow in question.
“What could be more fitting than that?” Alice asked.
“Clothes,” Tina said as she laced her fingers with Bette’s while heading toward the car. “He gets clothes.”
“Boooooooooring,” Alice said as she began to snore.
“Appropriate nonetheless,” Bette said slipping into the driver’s seat. “What else?”
“I’m not sure,” Tina confessed as Bette started the car and began her progression out of the driveway.
“Your sister needs one of two things,” Alice said from the backseat as she leaned forward into the space between Bette and Tina. “Either a naked picture of Shane’s ass or, and this might be more appropriate, a new camera rather than that Polaroid she’s been using.”
“Why would I get her a camera?”
“She loves posing for pictures. Didn’t you see the ones of her on the sign when they were here?”
“That might not be a bad idea,” Bette agreed as she parked the car at their first destination.
“So that leaves Mom and Dad left,” Alice said linking arms with Bette and Tina as they all stepped onto the sidewalk.
“Dad wants a new pool cue set,” Tina said digging through her list of gift suggestions.
“How much is that?”
“Expensive,” Tina answered before Alice could interrupt their conversation.
“We’ll all go in on it!”
Bette looked questioningly at Alice while she opened the door for Tina to enter the crowded mall.
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toby4ever says
Hahaha…if they’re smart, nobody will take that Bette. Fabulous Lin…very funny…waiting for your next update!
melrose231 says
a pleasure to read as always! so funny and they’re not even in north carolina yet! lol
arwen487 says
Poor Bette!! now she won’t have her week of sex with Tina, but also she will be spending Christmas with Alice!! =/ I really pity her xD
lucybelly says
Get out the Christmas sweaters… we’re all going to Asheville! Welcome back, Gumby. I’m so happy to see you continuing with the Kennard clan. Poor Bette!
valenkat7 says
If Tina was trying to butter up Bette before telling her about the gang going, she is in for a surprise. A little nookie and a lot of left out details spells trouble! but in time I’m sure Bette will get over it. PPS this is just too funny:)
azmama says
Oy to the Vey!!!!
jb621 says
I was cracking up over Alice talking to Ma Kennard three times a week & now she’s changing her fashion style! LMAO. Bette just likes to play the role of scrooge but in the end, she’s a softie at heart. PS
honda90 says
OMG, I can’t wait to see Alice in NC again!!! this really is too good, thanks for the update, in both places!!
Dainty says
Just too funny. I just knew the entire gang was going to the Kennards for Christmas. I feel sorry for Bette and Tina should make a start on lots of loving before they leave for the holiday so that Bette will at least get some of her time with Tina and be able to enjoy the time away. Poor Bette. Great fun. PPS
talaula says
GUMBY!!!!!!!!!!! Lu and I really enjoyed this story, and hope that one day you and Jenny’s mom would tell your love story as well. We all know how that story would begin. With a blow-up doll. Hee-hee-hee!
Eddy says
Poor Bette, I would also look for a window to trow me out when Alice and the gang is going with them to NC to Ma Kennard. Amazing story. PPS
BetteAndTinaForever says
LOL…alice is something, isn’t she? this xmias is going to be fuuuuuun :) i hope TiBette will find time and place to have some hot sex though ;)
m_s_gypsy says
I’m goddy for this story to unfold.
miamigrl says
OMG, they are the “5 Stooges”!
smiley says
I love it! More please
lami says
Wow, it’s so great to see you posting a new story. Can’t wait for more. Thanks Gumby.
ut says
That was funny and love it. Alice is driving Bette crazy lol but gonna love her. Please post more, thanks!
without labels says
I love your sense of humor, and the way you write friends and family gatherings, it’s so beautiful and fun. Thank you so much Gumby, you are the best. Love
Jobadge says
Well look who turned up again – what a great way to burst back on the scene! Loved both chapters mate, glad to see your name there x
fergz1 says
LMAO..I guess if they are on the second floor of a mall Bette could just through herself over a rail to the first floor. Tina should have picked Hawaii…this is going to be funny.
beachlife says
alice talking to tina’s mom,lol. spending the whole week with alice… poor bette. tina is so bad,lol :)PPS
caramel4vanilla says
fabulously funny
ecstasythrumusic says
I saw that one coming Gumby. Christmas shopping is a pain.I say online all the way.PPS.
divinemu says
Poor Bette, being tortured in so many ways. Hysterically funny. Thank you.