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    Diary of a Mad Addict

    Story written on August 16, 2005 by T6beach.
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    20 votes, average: 3.30 out of 520 votes, average: 3.30 out of 520 votes, average: 3.30 out of 520 votes, average: 3.30 out of 520 votes, average: 3.30 out of 5 (20 votes, average: 3.30 out of 5)
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    Character(s): N/A
    Number of Comments: 7
    Words: 4150
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=56058
    Author Notes:

    Sometimes you gotta know when to fold ’em . . .

    I cocked my head a little toward the door trying to catch any sound from the other rooms. NOTHING. NARY A NOISE.

    “I warned you once about doing something to ruin the bathroom and that includes peeing on the floor, ” K again hollered from somewheere in the house.

    The sound of her voice surprised me a little and I quickly retreated to the safety of the towel rack fearing she may be moving toward the bathroom. I stood very still waiting for another outburst or for K to come bull rushing through the door, and when neither action happened I once again slid to the floor and sat with my arm raised above my head.

    (*****, *****, DOUBLE *****. GAWDDAMMIT, I GOTTA PEE, I AM THIRSTY, I COULD USE A GOOD SOAK IN THE TUB CAUSE I AM STARTING TO STINK)

    I began again to slowly bang my head on the wall behind me, careful not to be so loud that K would storm in with a shovel in one hand and the pepper spray in the other.

    “Oh my goodness, Beach, what another fine mess you got yourself into.”

    The unexpected voice of BETTE invading the bathroom nearly scared the piss right out of me and I sat up so straight that I banged my head REALLY HARD on the wall behind me. Reaching up to see if I had a gusher on the back of my noggin, I felt nothing but bits and pieces of cracked tile.

    “What the ***** Bette, look what you made me do,” I angrily confronted the imaginary spirit of my favorite deity disguised as one Ms Bette Porter. “Looks like I might be dead for real this time if K comes in here and finds out what I did. Why you gotta do that to me EVERY SINGLE ***** TIME? You couldn’t just tap me on the shoulder, whisper in my ear, clear your throat to get my attention? *****.”

    I rubbed the back of my head as I saw her sitting on the back of the toilet seat, looking quite fabulous I might add, wearing that ***** hot white linen three-piece suit – pants, vest, blazer SANS ANY KIND OF BLOUSE – . As usual when she pops in so unexpectedly, she nonchalantly examined her nails and brushed the lint from her thighs.

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    Comments

    1. Beach – You are awesome girl please don’t stop this story…you crack me up along with the sadness that you are realizing the love of you life is with you every day. Thanks for revealing ‘The ONE’ to us. I think Sea is ‘The One’ for me but I have not read chases story but will begin today. keep up the great work girl….

    2. Neither snow, nor rain, nor heat…ah, you get the idea; would keep me from seeking out the ONE. You know the one…the one who makes my sides split with laughter…the one who makes me cry and howl because she’s loonier than a hooker with a yeast infection on Saturday night…that’s right beachy, and why you ask? Let us count the ways, shall we?

      ““You fuckin pull that rack from its hinges or crack the tile or dent the dry wall I will come in there and pepper spray you after I throw a glass of grape juice all over your piece of shit white tank top. Then I will give a shovel so you can just dig your own grave. So just stop it you moron.”

      (DAMN . . . SHE SOUNDS REALLY REALLY PISSED)

      “There was even a mobile folding tray, similar to the ones used in hospitals, which K had concocted in case one or both of us wanted to use the computer while bathing.”

      “Come on, K, I am sorry that I said you gave me herpes,”

      “(FUCK, HERE IT COMES . . THE “BUT” . . . THE LECTURE . . . THE SPEECH . . . THE PART I DON’T UNDERSTAND . . )” LMAO!

      “Little did I know as I kicked started the bike that my wife and my shrink had been conspiring to plan a surprise birthday party for my big “40” next week. Little did I know as I zoomed out of the driveway, not looking back that every single person I knew in my life would be there. Little did I know as I rounded the corner which lead to the highway that I knew so little . . . .”

      See what I mean? TBC maybe? Oh I don’t think so. I’d click my way through China as long as a beachnut story was waiting for me at the end of the cyber tunnel. Keep em comin ya nut.

    5. OMG, a T6beach story that has left me sad? WTF? And to top it all off, now you tell me I’m the one, after all these months? Oy, you better come back with another chapter and make this right Beachie! BTW, that was a kick ass chapter.

    7. Hey Beach…I will call you soon…I swear!! It’s about time you outed Chase and told everyone that she is THE ONE!!! Do you know how hard that secret has been to keep?! Great chapter…totally funny, yet sad at the same time. I’m with hunty 38…why the hell does it take you so long to post!!??

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