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Everything and Nothing: 15.) Sur la Table
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Nope. That night she cured me of any delusions I might have had about us. I can just barely sense the hurt under the residual bitterness in her voice.
I wanna kick her *****’ *****!
D!
I mean it. I wanna beat the ***** piss out of her!
Its over, all right?
It didnt look over for you when you saw her.
D. Its over.
*****. You were so upset, and that really upset me. Be honest with me, are you really okay?
She comes around to the front of me, bends over and looks me in the eye.
Sue me. I worry about you. I say.
Im really okay, she says. It was just the shock of seeing her. Yeah, it hurt, but Im cool.
I still wanna kick her *****, I grin.
She just smiles, but she doesnt look me in the eye. Im fine.
Okay. Next subject. Im always eager to let it go when she has shared something with me. I never want to push too much.
Later, shes sitting on my bathroom counter, blow-drying my hair, when the phone rings. I barely hear it, but Ive been waiting for my mom to call me back.
Ive gotta get that , I say. Hang out for a while, and well get pizza.
Okay.
I run to the phone. Hello?
Hello, darling, my mother sings.
Hi, ma, whats up?
Oh, just going over my spring collection.
Yeah? Do you have photos yet?
No. Ill email when I do.
Awesome. I lie down on my couch. I watch as Shane comes downstairs and goes into the kitchen. She opens the fridge.
What are you doing? my mom asks.
Getting a haircut.
At home?
Shane was doing it. Shes a hairstylist.
Who is Shane? she asks, with the eager inflection of a mother who wants to see her child happily settled.
My friend.
A good friend?
Yes, ma, Shanes a good friend. In fact, shes bringing me a beer right this moment. I roll my eyes. Shane looks a bit like a deer in headlights.
You know what I mean, Didi.
Yes I do. And I plead the fifth. I smile at Shane and take one of the beers she is holding. Thanks, I mouth.
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Y’know, if it weren’t for one thing, this chapter would be the hottest damn thing. Seeing words like ‘cunt’ in the midst of a love scene just snaps me right out of the moment in a very unpleasant way – especially considering this scene is supposed to be a very meaningful one between Darah and Shane. But it’s happened in previous chapters, as well. It’s just way, way, way too harsh a word for this context, I think.
And, darnit, I’ve got chair sex in ch 15 of Parallels. *grump*
Thanks guys.
Lilpink, especially, thank you. I’m sorry you aren’t down with the C-word.
I’ve gotten a lot of crit for using it in the past and choosing to use it was always a tough choice, but I decided to because that’s the way I think of it. I find “pussy” to be prissy, “twat” to be vulgar, “sex” (when used too much) to be cheesy, and “core” to be victorian and euphemistic.
Personally for me the C-word connotates a certain rawness that is sexy. Though it’s a widely used insult, I generally tend to find that more of a reflection of society than inherent in the word itself.
Sorry if the use offended; I’m a big fan of your work and was glad to know you enjoyed it otherwise.
I usually don’t mind the c-word – matter of fact, it’s one of my favorite cuss words ever – in fic, in certain contexts, it can be very effective, but like I said – it clashes really badly with the emotions you’re trying to evoke here, I think.
There’s no need to use euphemisms, though. I mean, I don’t use ‘core’ or ‘twat’ or ‘pussy’ or anything like that in my fics. I do use ‘sex’ but very sparingly. Usually, it doesn’t take much to give people a fairly clear idea of what’s going on without making it all about body parts and anatomy and the semantics of such. Because that’s usually not what the love scenes in Parallels are about, y’know?
i really like the use of the c-word (i feel weird writing it like that but don’t wanna offend anyone). i find it honest and sexy. personally when i read your sex scenes they flow for me and i honestly don’t notice the words you use, whereas with some other fictions on this site i piss myself laughing evertime i get to “love canal” which seems to be extremely popular. yeah so, uhh, just wanted to say there are different ways of writing sex scenes that are not “just sex”, and i like your detail november and the way you wrote this.
Exceptional dialogue writing, and the addition of the rabbit made it so much more real. And the sex really isn’t just sex anymore. Amazing chapter, I’m SURE you had a real good time writing that one.
Wow – amazing chapter – wow – well done.
Can’t remember every having just sex, All loving. that was an excellent chapter. Hope you enjoyed writing it as much as I enjoyed reading it Thanks
i think you are AMAZING…i am looking forward to the next part….
Wow!!! Only just caught this fic and read this chapter and now I’m gonna read all the others… Exceptional writing!
Thank you asrai, that means a lot to me. I mean, when you think of it to describe your own anatomy, it can only be so offensive. I was feeling bad though, so I’m glad to know I didn’t alienate everyone. Thanks for speaking up. :)
no problem. keep it up :) cunt-lovers of the world unite