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    Hindsight – Chapter 6

    It was obvious that Kit was the one who had been looking out for her in respect of her feeding herself, but if I didn’t know better, I would say she was eating the bare minimum to survive, I can’t believe she has been even functioning in the last seven weeks, but maybe the gradual deterioration in her weight had enabled her to function, this was rock bottom, she was at rock bottom, hence the contemplation of the pills last night.

     

     

    I had to bring her back from the edge of existence, I had to right the wrongs, I had to let her know that Angelica would be a part of her life; I had to let her know it would be okay…

     

     

    I whispered to her, words of what I hope she would interpret as comfort and the new beginning, and I hoped she would hear how desperately sorry I was for my actions, “it will be okay…”

     

    I rubbed her back as I felt the effect of the words, maybe she didn’t believe it would be okay, who could blame her for the way I had treated, even as I whispered the words they had a sound of scepticism to them, but I meant every word, I just needed for her to believe I meant every word.

     

    Another sob caught in her throat as the reason we were at this place took hold, her words made my heart pound.

     

    “I just want to see her T…”

     

    “I know…”

     

    “I just want…”

     

    “It’s okay…”

     

    “I just want… to have my daughter… in my life again…”

     

    “You will…”

     

    “Please T… don’t take her away from me again…”

     

    “I won’t… I promise…” I whispered to her…

     

    “Thank you…”

     

    “I’ll never forgive myself for keeping her from you…” I quietly said…

     

    She went weak in my arms as the words sank in, I had made a promise I had no intention of breaking, I had taken her daughter away from her for seven weeks and four days, but that is where it ended…

     

    This is where I started to right my wrongs, and the first tiny step of that journey would be sharing our daughter, letting go of my own twisted thoughts of her not being Angelica’s mother, accepting and embracing that Angelica had two mothers who loved her unconditionally, and we were both here, here and now, in the home we once shared as a family.

    Comments

    1. Even at this low point in her life Bette can still show her strenght…being there for Tina…and while a vulnerable Bette will always pull at the heart strings…i love it when her true strenght shows through too…great stuff as always!

    2. your just amazing how do you even begin to …. just unwrap Tina like that. you just hit raw emotions and you hit it right on the nail. that’s what we would all like to see on the show….. camn’t wait to read more

    3. This story is so heart wrenching and yet so wonderful. Tina trying to right the wrong of keeping Angelica from Bette will be difficult. The trust needs to be re-built, but I have faith in you Jo. If any writer can fix this broken relationship, it’s you! You are AWESOME!

    4. That chapter was great…and heartbreaking again…but your chapters are overlapping right? I thought T said she’d never forgive herself for taking A away from B or something like that in the last chapter… Didn’t she?

    5. Jo, I’m very glad for the way things are going, but I just can’t buy Tina’s statement (excuse) that it was never meant to be vindictive. Bullshit! (Do you Brits use that one?) When I see something like that I think Tina needs to be a lot more honest with herself and needs to do a lot more soul searching.

    6. Well damn it Jo! You making it difficult to want to throw Tina off a cliff! I think it’s because this Tina is showing signs of remorse and regret, something we have yet to see from Tina # 2 on the show. But if I may I am still going to hold on to my anger because I would like to see Tina suffering, even if she is making amends. Call me spiteful, rude, or mean, it would do my heart good to see her suffering for just a little bit.lol Thereafter you she can get all the happiness in the world, with or without Bette.

    7. Very heartwrenching but optimistic at the same time. You can tell that Tina is struggling with all that she has done to the one person who still very much holds her heart. Tina knows that she did the worst thing to Bette by withholding Angelica from her. Bette has done some major damage to her body. She is going to need tender loving care to get her back to a healthy state. Between Kit, Angelica, and Tina there is hope that the Bette that we all love will return.

    8. I know that I am an emotional basketcase right now…hormone levels are sky high…but damn…you are amazing and I your writing just brings me to tears. Thanks, Jo!

    9. wonderful! i have tears in my eyes! it was an incredible and heartbreaking chapter but i am confidence that Tina will do the right thing to fix this. Your are amazing girl!

    10. (clearing throat) that was yet again truly amazing. I think you’re trying to get me to ball my eyes out…you don’t need to worry..i already have…thank you very much…now please…post again! Thanks for this amazing story.

    11. This story turns me into a sniffling ball of emotions. I can feel the pain there. They will work this out…I have faith in you Jo. You deserve every nomination you get and then some. You are awesome!

    12. After what we’ve read so far we all need a hug! You have a gift with words that takes us through every emotion there is & every where inbetween. You’re amazing & deserve all the praise you get.

    13. Awwww family hug, mate I think you and I should squeeze in :o)). This chapter was truly beautiful, I love how you show us an emotional honest Tina, a Tina who is full of remorse and wants to right things starting now!!! “I once told her she had breathed life into me, she made my heart beat” – so sweet and simply amazing. Now I’m all up to date with the reading and the comments, so still mates???? Please post that Remember When soon, I’m so ready…..hope my SD is too LOL.

    14. I still want to know where you are going with this? Tina does seem to be a tiny bit of denial, but it’s all good when the writing is a great as yours. Thanks mate.

    15. so great…I can feel Bette’s pain…Tina’s craziness…and of course so want them 2gether as lovers, partners and parents for their precious daughter…

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